Seven months ago, a star was born. This celebrity inspired debates that enlightened the masses, made people around the world question everything they believed, and altered the course of history forever. Then, as quickly as it entered our lives, it vanished from the public eye.
I’m referring, of course, to The Blue Black/White Gold Dress.
Let’s talk about the question that’s on all our minds: What’s happened to America’s sweetheart since it first made headlines? It seems The Dress has gone the way of many who experience fame at an early age, and has become jaded by “the biz.” The Dress was spotted on a Caribbean beach last month, accompanied by an unknown but cute pair of shoes. When asked to clarify its true colors, The Dress responded, “I don’t really like labels. Color is a spectrum, you know?”
Despite The Dress’s cool demeanor, it is clear it’s been around the block a time or two. One Facebook user with too much time on her hands commented that she heard The Dress had a brief stint in rehab. Its manager claimed the stay was due to exhaustion, but the media is skeptical due to the fact that it is a dress. Perez Hilton has suggested, however, that The Dress might have a problematic drug habit.
An inside source confided that the dress is working on its upcoming book, “Not a Dress Rehearsal: The Dress Story,” and that it has plans to appear in an adult magazine sometime this month. Quoth a friend of The Dress after seeing the leaked photos: “If you ask me, it looks like The Dress got a few inches taken off. I just want it to have some self-respect. It’s going down a bad path.”
It certainly seems that way. Last week The Dress was exiting the limousine at a club, and the paparazzi were shocked to see that The Dress was not wearing panties! The Dress’s only words of explanation were, “I’m just a dress!” before flipping the cameras off and stumbling inside.
There is hope, however. The Dress is reportedly debuting its fashion line this autumn with a self-inspired Halloween costume. “Anybody who’s anybody will be wearing that costume,” The Dress assured us. “Who wouldn’t want to buy a dress by a dress?”
Recent polls tell us that 100% of people wouldn’t.
And what happened to the mother and daughter who first discovered the dress? Sources say they haven’t forgotten their dispute, and have not spoken in months. The mother, clearly bitter, is demanding a percentage of the dress’s profits, and supposedly told the dress, “I made you what you are!” But, as the dress points out, it was actually made by a factory in India.
haha love it, bringing it back – oh no its back x