It’s that time of year again—the time to realize that you’ve broken all of your New Years Resolutions. I was supposed to meditate every morning and read thirty books and work out like a “fiend” (my dad’s words, not so much mine). That didn’t totally happen. At all, really. So now, as I begin to feel the creeping inadequacy of not practicing daily mindfulness and not having finished 100 Years of Solitude yet and not running half marathons, I’ve decided to reaffirm my goals for the year (and my life).
But instead of making a boring old list, I decided to get creative by making a vision board—a real life Pinterest board for empowerment and collaged dreams. Oprah says they work and I trust her very much when it comes to things like this. So I got out my box of craft supplies threw together a bunch of pictures on Photoshop to create what I like to call a Re-Vision Board. Because in the process, I discovered that there may be more to life than “being spiritual” and “being intellectually engaged” and “health.” And here they are.
1. Have the swagger of Joe Biden.
Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr. is the finest vice president this nation has ever seen. This picture captures so many aspirational aspects of his character—his gentle yet secure grasp on that large waffle cone; his poised yet authoritative handle on his money; his strategic yet playful approach to eating ice cream; the fact that he looks that good in aviators. I believe that history will recognize his undeniable style as the reason the free world was saved and for this, he earns a special place on my board.
2. Photosynthesize.
I love the great outdoors, but I feel like I could be a better connection with my beloved Mother Nature. I think photosynthesis is the solution. Being so in tune with the sun’s energy seems so special and profoundly personal. Producing oxygen seems like it would be really refreshing and cleansing. Plus, if I transformed into a plant, all my obligations would dissipate and I could just chill on a windowsill for the rest of my existence.
3. Be a poem.
Maybe “Song of Myself” so I can be long and contradictory. Maybe “The Raven” so I can finally go goth(ic). Maybe “The Road Not Taken” so I can be all anti-establishment. Make me into a metaphor, give me a rhyme scheme, profess to know my subtextual meaning. (You don’t).
4. Transcend reality by becoming Bill Murray.
Bill Murray has a certain kind of wisdom and eccentricity that can only be attributed to true spiritual enlightenment. His brand of deadpan/offbeat/gofer abhorring humor is a testament to this fact, and I really want to uncover his secret to life. I don’t quite know what it is (being in every Wes Anderson movie? busting ghosts?), but my dad saw an interview with him where he said that he tries to always be “open” and “available.” Most phone calls with my father end with him reminding me to be these things, and I’m trying. So I’ve got that goin’ for me. Which is nice.
5. Live the Tiny House life.
With the rising success of HGTV’s Tiny House Hunters (which is like regular House Hunters, except with glorified [though arguably sustainable] sheds), I have become invested in this fad because really, who needs three bedrooms or walk in closets or general living space? For a while, being a tiny house owner was my Plan B; now it’s Plan A. After college, I hope to buy a plot of land in Western Massachusetts, buy a lil home and spend my days writing poems, tending to a vegetable garden and entertaining assorted forest dwellers. I will be a modern day Henry David Thoreau–except with WiFi, running water and hopefully a golden retriever.
6. Win a pumpkin growing contest.
One time I saw this documentary about a quaint Oregon family that grows pumpkins competitively. It was awesome. They spend all year tending to these wonderfully misshapen 2000 pound giants and there’s so much local agricultural glory on the line because what if they don’t have the biggest pumpkin? What then?!
Probably make a bunch of consolation pies. So it’s a win win.
7. Rip the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope to shreds.
I would love to dance with abandon, rock a lot of polka dots and collect something weird, like wind chimes or train whistles or spoken word albums. But I don’t want to be “that girl” for some mopey, borderline narcissistic, sweater vest ‘n glasses wearing bean pole of a human so that he can discover that life doesn’t suck that much because I showed him how to be happy. I will own a small string instrument and a sundress, but I’ll also have my dreams, ambitions, and feminist rants recognized.
8. Be this happy.
This is the precise instance of peak happiness for this girl—blissful, overwhelmed with joy, spaghetti pouring out of her mouth. I have consumed many bowls of pasta in my life, but none have delivered me to the threshold of true, otherworldly understanding. I will not give up.
9. Be a Billboard Lawyer.
When you’re driving into Providence, you may notice a fine collection of billboards advertising the services of many stone faced injury lawyers with nicknames like “Brick Wall” and “Game Changer” and yes, “Bulldog.” To me, having your balding head and 800 number towering above the highway is a sign that you’ve made it. I want to become Sarah “Thunder” Clapp. You got into an auto accident from staring so incredulously at my dope sign? I can help you with that.
Images via and Sarah Clapp.
This was interesting ahaha 😛
Outstanding!