Whether it’s for a Friday night hookup or a Monday afternoon study session, you’re eventually going to stumble into the dorm room of a new acquaintance. Don’t panic! Although their room may not look the same as your cozy little cave, you can use those differences to find out exactly what kind of person your new bang-buddy or study-buddy is.
If they have fairy lights in their dorm room, they spend too much time on Pinterest and have worn a flower crown in the past three months. They like pumpkin spice things and probably own some purposefully outdated piece of technology, like a Polaroid camera or some miscellaneous floppy disks. Bonus points if they have photos hanging from clotheslines.
They can’t be DEFINED by this trite quiz, don’t you understand? They’ve been to all the concerts possible in the past year, except for the one you went to, because that one was stupid and lame and EVERYONE went to it. They’ve got that album you like, but “you haven’t really listened to it unless you’ve heard it on vinyl.” One minute, just let them take off their prescription-less glasses and they’ll go find it among the piles of hip tees in their closet.
They smoked weed for the first time this summer with people they consider cooler than themselves. As soon as their parents left them post-move-in, they plastered their walls with the above posters and then went to go stare at the holy artifact that was Jameson Room #420. Also, somehow, their grades are much better than yours.
They are utterly shocked that someone else in their Shakespeare lecture has read The Winter’s Tale. It’s definitely one of his more obscure works. How about Timon of Athens? No? Yeah, they didn’t think so. It’s okay. It’s hard for someone to be as well-read as they are. (Note: Do not let the owner of Room #4 meet #2. They’ll kill each other, or worse–become such good friends that everyone else will want to kill them.)
This person is either a nun or a serial killer. There is no in-between.
