What It’s Like To Have A Perfect Sibling

The famous Hannah Montana once said, “Nobody’s perfect. I got to work it. Again and again ‘til I get it right.” First off, I would like to make a minor correction to the lyrics. It should really be “Again and again and again and again and again and again ‘til I get it right.” I feel like the extra “agains” could just make the song that much more relatable, but merely a suggestion! Secondly, Hannah Montana obviously has not met my brother, the boy genius.

Not to denounce his accomplishments or his naturally gifted smarts, but his intelligence is out of control. Just to put it into perspective, I can’t watch an episode of Jeopardy with him without feeling like the actual contestants on the show and I need to repeat every year of grade school. But how should I feel when he’s winning “Potomac Youth of the Year” while I’m satisfied with completing a scarf I had been knitting for over a month (that somehow still has 5 huge holes)?

N.B: The headmaster announced my bro’s GPA to the whole school during his high school awards ceremony because he could not believe someone’s average could be so high. He went on to praise my brother for maintaining such a high GPA while managing varsity baseball, jazz ensemble plus concert band, and being captain of his high school quiz bowl team. We have the whole speech recorded so that I can be frequently reminded that my grades were never that impressive and that I’m horrible at multi-tasking.

I always assumed that as my brother got older, school would become progressively harder for him. Instead of studying for 20 minutes max for all his tests, he might have to add 40 minutes to make it a solid hour. However, my brother always manages to prove me wrong (I don’t know why I’m surprised). I barely saw him study for his BC Calculus tests (which he took as a junior), and yet he managed to get 95% or higher each time. In comparison, when I took AB Calculus as a senior, I cried everyday to my mom, dad, tutor, man standing in front of me in line at Starbucks, about how terribly the class was going for me (let’s just say my grade on the first test rhymed with flirty percent).

I speak for my older sister and myself when I say that we have learned to cope with having a shining star as our baby brother. I repeat: baby brother. But being related to a genius does have its perks. Here are some ways I’ve learned to accept and embrace my brother’s smarts, and to use it towards my advantage:

1. He helped me with my AP Calculus AB homework (he, the sophomore; I, the senior).
2. He helped me with my AP US History homework (he, the freshman; I, the junior).
3. He helped me with my Chemistry homework (he, the 8th grader; I, the sophomore).
4. He also calculates the tip for the family when we go out to eat.
5. And my personal favorite: he can calculate 25% off in his head, making shopping for clothes on sale a more efficient and enjoyable experience.

I have even managed to find my strengths that my brother lacks. His jokes are just subpar — sorry Sam, you do have to pick up your game there. And I learned how to ride a bike earlier than he did! (Sorry that was a low blow, Sam. I know it’s a sensitive subject. But give me this one. Please.)

For all of you out there with a perfect sibling, realize that you are not alone. At times, it may feel like we are “average” or “can never live up to the legacy our sibling has created” or are constantly referred to as the “sibling who likes to have fun.” The truth is that NASA genetically created these perfect siblings in the depths of New Mexico for the purpose of procreating when the apocalypse happens. So go have fun and don’t stress about how bad your sibling makes you look! He or she is just doing their duty for the nation.

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