Unless you’ve been under a rock, or unless your taste in music is just so, so much cooler than mine, then you know that on Monday, Taylor Swift released her latest album. Here’s what I learned from listening to 1989 for seven days straight (you know…. for research.)
1. Taylor Swift associates herself with red lips. If you asked Taylor Swift to draw a self-portrait, she’d draw a pair of red lips with bangs. It’s the piece of imagery that comes up again and again in her songs, whether she’s describing her “cherry lips” in Blank Space, her “red lips and rosy cheeks” in Wildest Dreams, or letting us all know that she’s got that “red lip classic thing” that Harry Styles likes.
2. She was in a car crash with a dude (probably Harry Styles) and she’s pretty fixated on it. Here’s the story I put together through the lyrics of various songs from the album: “It’s 2am in your car” (Wildest Dreams) and “he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road” (Style.) “Remember when you hit the brakes too soon, twenty stitches in a hospital room” (Out of the Woods) and then Taylor brings it all home: “All I know is that you drove us off the road” (All You Had To Do Was Stay.)
3. New York City is a magical place where boys can be with boys and girls can be with girls. It’s especially nice if you have a $20 million penthouse apartment. Basically like a 90’s Meg Ryan movie.
4. Taylor likes bad boys. She knows they’re bad, but she just can’t help trying to change them. No, Taylor! Learn from your mistakes! They’ll only hurt you in the end!
5. She’s pretty into the whole repetition thing. For your consideration, the lyrics from a few of the choruses of the album’s songs (try to guess which!)
Welcome to New York
It’s been waiting for you
Welcome to New York
Welcome to New York
Welcome to New York
It’s been waiting for you
Welcome to New York
Welcome to New York
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods?
Are we in the clear yet?
Are we in the clear yet?
Are we in the clear yet?
In the clear yet, good.
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods?
Are we in the clear yet?
Are we in the clear yet?
Are we in the clear yet?
In the clear yet, god.
Are we out of the woods?
This love is good
This love is bad
This love is a life back from the dead
These hands had to let it go free
And this love came back to me
Cause the players gonna play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate
Baby I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake
Baby I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off, Shake it off
Keep shaking Taylor. I give 1989 a B+. It’s not quite as good as “Red” but I’ll be damned if I’m not still singing “Style” in the shower.
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