Over the years, Taylor Swift has provided me with many great ideas. I am not a cat person, but I considered getting a cat just to name it Meredith Grey or Olivia Benson. I considered moving to Nashville, although Nashville’s been my favorite city since I was ten so that was more of a re-consideration. I was inspired by her holding up a sign that says “YOU OK?” outside a boy’s window, though I failed to take action on that one, too.
By far, however, the best of her ideas has been her tea parties. When I was younger, I had three beautiful tea sets that I drank water out of all the time because it was just good old fun. So I got to thinkin’… If I had a tea party today, who would I invite?
First on the list is Lorde (I have to acknowledge that this list is in no particular order, because if it was, Lorde wouldn’t be first). I have mixed feelings about her as a person, and I don’t like the facial expressions she makes when she performs. They are slightly disturbing. But I feel like she deserves a chance, and a tea party would be a great place to get to know her better.
Next is Haim. Calling Haim “Haim” is kind of objectifying them, since they are not a commodity and they are three individual women. So the Haim sisters, then — Este, Danielle, and Alana. I liked Haim before Taylor Swift even heard “The Wire.” They are modern, Jewish Stevie Nicks disciples, and they are so real, and they definitely have great taste in tea.
Lena Dunham. I would like to personally invite Lena to my entire life, as in be with me all of the time, actually.
Also:
Tavi Gevinson. Tavi is also a disciple of Stevie Nicks but in a very different way. I admire her as a writer and as an artist. She is wise beyond her years and I probably have more to learn from her than I do anyone else at the table (sorry, Lena). When I was a freshman in high school, a writer friend of my mother’s told me I should apply for Rookie, but I didn’t because at the time I thought it was random and not very legitimate. Well, F me.
Leandra Medine is next, and she is the greatest person on the planet, not that we’ve ever met in person. She’s the least famous person on this list, so I’ll provide you with a short bio: Leandra is the founder and writer and everything (almost) of Man Repeller, a “humorous blog about serious fashion.” She dresses better than… anyone, but is just as fabulous on the inside. She’s *brilliant* and I would definitely seat her next to Lena Dunham.
Next is Stevie Nicks, who I decided to invite as the grandmother of the group, perhaps even the “camp counselor” of us all, especially because all of her disciples will be there and I can only imagine how lovely it would be for them all to have a family reunion.
My wild card guest is Whoopi Goldberg, because she is incredible and is not invited to nearly enough tea parties.
I would like to acknowledge the fact that a few of my tea party guests overlap with Taylor Swift’s real life tea party guests, but let’s face it: I fit in with this group of people a lot better than she does.
If I were to make this tea party a less intimate affair, I’d throw Mindy Kaling or Melissa McCarthy in there and a few other not-particularly-beautiful but witty people, because that’s who I’d want to have a tea party with.
There is a shared obsession with these witty women who post unflattering selfies to their millions of Instagram followers and write really genius shit in their memoirs. I don’t know if I even want to draw negative attention to the obsession because I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing. It shouldn’t be problematic to admire those who deserve admiration, unless we’re admiring them for the wrong reasons, like they’re a genre of people.
Okay, so they kind of are a genre of people, and I’m sure you can think of five or six more to throw on the tea party list.
I both hate and love to say that we’re obsessed with people in “this genre” for their imperfections. I love to say it because everyone is imperfect and the notion that we can have imperfect role models is comforting. I hate it, though, because we shouldn’t love imperfect people and things for the principle of imperfection; we should love imperfect people and things because they are perfect as they are.
We don’t feel threatened by or competitive with those who don’t “win in every aspect of life.” Sure, Mindy Kaling is a helluva lot smarter and more talented and all around cooler than you’ll ever be, but you might have a faster metabolism, and that might be why you don’t watch interviews with her and cry like you do when you watch Karlie Kloss just walk down a runway while the angels sing glory, glory hallelujah.
It would be sad to think that we aren’t actually obsessed with these people, and that we are obsessed with what they are not because we loath what they are not.
It’s possible that we’re obsessed with different people for different reasons, too. Like you could be obsessed with someone for her looks and another for her personality, which is fair on your part. And then there are the people you’re infatuated with because of their entire being (including personality and looks).
I will intentionally send out the invitations to my tea party keeping in mind the women whom I admire for all reasons. I must note that it is, perhaps, the green monster of envy within me that subconsciously refuses invite someone I admire for her beauty to the party. That just says something about me, I guess, and what I find valuable. Or what I am embarrassingly self-conscious of.