Over break, I traveled to a strange land of pure New England prep. Coming from a culture of swim trunks and bro tanks on the West Coast, I was a foreigner to popped collars and pastel hues. I decided to submerge myself in the preppy culture of the East Coast by swimming upstream with the salmon-colored shorts to its epicenter: Vineyard Vines.
Immediately upon arrival, I was greeted by a squad of blonde teenagers dressed head to Topsiders in whale-embroidered attire. As I glanced around, my vision started to blur in a rainbow of prep. I empathized with Daisy Buchanan, completely overwhelmed by the vibrant color spectrum of the dazzling clothes. Unfortunately, instead of being in the company of Leonardo DiCaprio as Gatsby, I was surrounded by hordes of whale-speckled shoppers who use “summer” as a verb.
The tie-rack was seemingly infinite. It spun round and round, leaving me flustered and “Nantucket Red” in the face. I do recall liking that one pink tie with the yacht club nautical flags. Perhaps I’m being a bit too ambiguous. You’ll have to forgive me; I’m still a novice when it comes to differentiating between “Rhubarb” and “Flamingo.”
I really admire Vineyard Vines’ attention to detail. Thank God they distinguish between “Club Shorts” and “Summer Club Shorts.” This will definitely save me from the terrible faux pas of wearing the wrong season shorts to da (country) club.
I think it’s safe to say that my uniform of athletic shorts and flip-flops excludes me from Vineyard Vines’ target demographic. As someone who considers showering the only requirement for looking presentable, I don’t really identify with the pristine, perfectly manicured look that the whale-wearing enthusiasts are aiming for. However, with annual sales over $100 million, I can’t deny the brand’s popularity. Maybe I should take a second pilgrimage to the Mecca of preppy fashion and bring some embroidered corduroys home to the West Coast in time for the holidays.
