“Amazon is hawking QAnon wares to children, like “Q”-adorned capes and witch hats, just in time for trick or treating. One cloak is polyester and features a massive “Q” in an American flag motif. The letter is shorthand for the group that believes in the “deep state” and spreads false claims, including that celebs like Oprah and Tom Hanks are part of an elite circle of child sex-traffickers.” – Suzy Weiss, New York Post, October 19, 2020
A new study has shown that the Venn Diagram of people who put their toddlers in Q’Anon costumes and people who think 11-year-olds couldn’t possibly know they are gay yet is actually just a circle.
This study comes just one week after President Tr*mp declared, in a town hall hosted by NBC News and watched by 13.5 million, that he knows nothing about the group responsible for Pizzagate and other far-right conspiracies, except that they are against pedophilia. It also comes just one week before Halloween 2020, a holiday that kids across America are looking forward to, especially as they have found their lives upended in the past few months by the global COVID-19 pandemic.
Researchers at MIT interviewed over 1,500 Americans, all of whom were found via the reviews left on Amazon for child-sized Q’Anon Halloween costumes. The researchers asked whether or not participants believed that an 11-year-old boy could be sure that he was attracted to other boys. The results were conclusive: 100% of those studied gave a resounding “no.”
When questioned by researchers in a follow up interview, one man, David Lorenzo, a top luxury real estate broker in Miami, doubled down on his response.
“You simply can’t know your true self until you’ve reach adulthood,” he told researchers. He cited his own experience, and how, at the age of 13, he was infatuated by the 1984 Men’s USA Olympic Gymnastics team. “I’m straight as can be –– check out my khakis. But, my God… what I wouldn’t give to have seen Bart Conner do his signature Conner Spin on the parallel bars.”
He and his wife, local gym teacher Liz MacIntyre, plan to dress their newborn son in Amazon’s $17 “Q’Anon ‘Don’t Tread On Me’ Baby Short-Sleeve Onesie Bodysuit” for his first Halloween.
Available at amazon.com.
Another participant, Mary-Anne Miller of West Virginia, shared Lorenzo’s notion that a child could not possibly know his or her sexuality until long after they could drive, vote, or purchase a gun.
She was adamant that while she is not homophobic, she does not believe a young boy could possibly know he was gay until he was “at least 30” and had engaged in intercourse with “three or four beautiful young women.”
Miller’s daughter, Carly, will spend Halloween trick-or-treating maskless and cloaked in an American Flag Q’Anon tunic and witches’ hat. When asked if she chose the Halloween costume herself, Carly, who at 3 still has a limited vocabulary, simply replied “No. Want Elsa.” This is seemingly in reference to Princess Elsa from Disney’s 2013 breakout hit, Frozen.
Both available at amazon.com.
At press time, all other participants declined to comment further.