Two-Wheeling Trick o’ Treating

by Emily Adams

Relationships are rare these days among our generation, especially given the increased college hookup scene. Commitment, pft. But if you are one of the lucky ones, the one that’s found their sweetie, honey, baby-cakes…hold on tight and never, ever let go. Don’t sweat the little things, like read receipts, dinner with the parents, or tacky matching Halloween costumes. Let your young love blossom without that cheap-ass ketchup and mustard combo. Get creative and celebrate the day of gluttony, horror, and horrendous lawn decorations with your other half in a super fresh couple costume. Check out one of the following ideas to get a look that will put the spice back in your pumpkin spice ASAP.

1. Adam and Eve: If you and your sugar butta are feeling au natural, snatch up this sinful situation. But watch the cold weather. Eden leaves aren’t known for their coverage.
2. Sentimental animal lover? Take a hint from these cute, cuddly creatures and throw on your Nordic furs. You’re going as Otters! That’s right. These cuddly creatures hold hands nightly to keep together in the open water. So drape yourself in seaweed and hit the streets with this sappy, sweet, and salty combo.
3. Perhaps your study-abroad in Rome has left you longing for a cultural oasis. Invite some Italian inspiration back into your life with this matchup: Fiat and Generic Sicilian Viagra Grandfather. Good things come in small packages until they don’t. Get his engine roaring with your bald cap today!
4. Be the Sphinx to his Pyramid. You and your hunk have spent more nights in with the History Channel than you can count to infinity. You’re just an old FedEx box and a gallon of yellow paint away from riding his boat all the way to the afterlife.
5. Your biscuit loves you for it, but put that jagged birth mark on your forehead to better use as Harry Potter and Voldemort. No better way to set the mood than magical, murderous hatred. That sexual tension will blow his nose right off his face.
6. Democratic presidential debate has you both at the edge of your shared seat? Then this one’s for you guys. Grab two of those hot-selling Hillary Clinton masks, because this year, you two are matching! Forget dullness, this night will be the most fun you’ve ever had. Double the Hillary, double the Monica! double the fun! So loosen your paint suit and scuff up your loafers because you two are destined for a bust-a-gut good time as the illest, H-Clinton.

Costumes can be a deal breaker for a budding relationship. Be mindful that this decision can dictate your future together. Communication is key. Hopefully you have found a combination above that delights both you and your lover. If not, well, seems to me you’ve hit a wall. Throw in the towel now. Imagine the two of you disconnecting over dressing up. You’re a vegan and he’s a strip of bacon? No sizzling sensation there. Plan ahead for a happy Halloween and an even happier romance. Congrats lovebirds.

Looking for more in The Rib’s costume department? Check out these if you’re looking to seduce a cutie this Halloween, these if you’re looking to REALLY scare, and these if, you know, you’re kind of lazy.

Image via.