In its latest episode of “who the fuck asked for this?”, the Trump administration announced that it would be freezing $510 million in federal funding grants for Brown University, which, although meager compared to Harvard’s $9 billion freeze, is still pretty fucking bad. This is due to the university violating the administration’s new policy against antisemitism, a safeguard that is exclusively supported by Christian nationalists.
In light of this change, the Rib has some serious concerns, chiefly among them: will there still be milkshakes at Jo’s?
“I mean, I’d be super disappointed if we got our milkshakes taken away from us,” a senior, who simply goes by Kelis, explains. “I waited an hour and a half to drink something I could have easily DIYd with some soft-serve and pea-milk at the Ratty, and you’re telling me Trump wants to take this from us? It just seems really unfair.”
Following the announcement of the funding freeze, The Rib is also concerned with the fate of wellness ear acupuncture, the Queer Alliance’s school-sponsored “Sex Power God” party, and the Rib’s very own 4/20 standup show.