Have you ever been virtually at victory? So close to success? Fractions from fame? Almost at an accomplishment? Close to conquest? Spending way too long googling synonyms so you can craft some excessive alliteration? If you have experience with any of the former situations, you’ll likely understand how an 89.4% on a test perfectly encapsulates the crushing feeling of being so close to success, but not close enough. It’d be one thing to get an 85% and be smack dab in the middle of a B, and comfortably so. But an 89.4%, on the other hand, is begging you to concoct a way to eek out that .1%. If somehow you’ve never felt the crushing defeat of an 89.4%, experience with any of the following situations may explain the sorrow wrapped up in that dreaded grade:
- Frequently in life, you must send in applications for various things, like classes, colleges, events, incomprehensibly exclusive Brown Outing Club trips, etc. And, nothing is worse than being told you are first on the waitlist. Like, great! I’m so glad to know I was almost good enough—not quite, but almost! That’s a real big confidence boost!! I guess I’ll just wait around until I’m good enough.
- Sports fanatics may be familiar with the lovely game of basketball, in which 5 players play at a time. 6th man on the team gets to sit on the sidelines with the 7th, 8th, 9th, and so on the other players. 6th man is well aware that they’re #6, and that they could basically be out there on the court. But they aren’t; instead, they’re sitting on the bench with all of the other players who also weren’t quite good enough to stop leaving butt impressions on their chairs.
- The Rock library contains several coveted desks around the perimeter of the 1st floor. These are spacious and have chairs that are reclinable, comfortable, and fun to bounce around in. Overall, 10/10 would recommend to a friend. When one of these tables is open, I jump on the chance to take over the spot and nicely set up all of my books. A truly crushing blow is fully settling into the space only to discover that it’s 1:59 a.m., and in one minute, the sirens of the Rock will force you to sadly exit.
- Sometimes, despite your general conception that The Ratty isn’t exactly fine dining, you’ll weirdly crave a nice DIY yogurt parfait from the breakfast buffet bar. And, sometimes, you arrive to create said concoction at exactly 10:30 am, right as the Ratty staff snatch the cubed fruits and cottaged cheeses away from you. A valiant, but failed effort on your part to get your servings of vitamin C. Figures.
If none of these situations relate to you, I just have one question: would you mind working as my life coach?