As a self-proclaimed “O.G. Twitter Rascal,” I endorse all kinds of Twitter shenanigans. A haiku about sushi? Tweet it. A picture not quite up to Instagram standards? Tweet it. Timely Drake lyrics? Tweet ‘em. But please think before you subtweet.
Subtweet (verb): To tweet about a particular person without mentioning their name or directly mentioning them in the tweet itself. The highest level of passive aggressive behavior in the social media era.
Subtweeting serves as an easy way to blow off steam. There is nothing more instantly satisfying than firing off a snarky, 140-character-long bomb into cyberspace. Who needs a therapist when you can vent via Twitter?
The favorites and retweets might seem like justification for a subtweet, but they really just fan the fire that is your online immaturity. You’re worth more than your twitter stats anyway. Honestly, the brief sense of popularity you feel from the notifications really is not worth the palpable awkwardness you experience the next time you see the victim of your subtweet in real life.
The morning after an alcohol-fueled late-night subtweet is usually filled with regret. Who knows how many of your beloved followers scrolled through typo-addled pseudo-quips at 3 am. These are not the impressions you want to make on your devoted fan base. They even stuck with you through those lovely couple of months in which you relentlessly bombarded them with @girlposts retweets. Every. Single. Day. They have proven their loyalty. Don’t make them suffer any more than they already have.
Take my advice and delete your old subtweets. Cleanse your twitter archives of past aggression. Become a born again subtweet virgin. I’d be surprised if you even remember at whom you directed “Wow. REALLY cool of you, bitch” from July 8th at 2:47 am in the first place.
Let’s all be mature adults and work out our problems IRL. Or at least gossip behind that bitch’s back without looking immature online like SOME PEOPLE I know…
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