A Joint Piece by Daniella Balarezo and Sarah Master
Summer 2016 was an awful time for America, but a great time to go for The Chop. For those of you who didn’t undergo an incredible transformation this summer and may not understand what we mean by that, The Chop is a worldwide phenomenon in which women young and old cut the majority of their hair off. Take a look around you. Open your eyes. Everyone is doing it. How many people do you know that chopped off their locks this summer? And how sophisticated are they now? Pretty freaking sophisticated, if you ask us – which you shouldn’t, because we’re incredibly biased. Even Selena Gomez cut her hair! Check her out! Isn’t she amazing? Wow.
Now that we’ve removed the weight of 10 inches of hair, these two Rib writers have emerged lighter, brighter, and breezier. The Chop can do profound things to both your image and your self-esteem. Now that I’ve undergone The Chop, I would say I’ve gone from a 6 to a solid 8 (but feel free to weigh in on this issue, I’m only human so I base my self-image off of what others think of me). If you didn’t cut your hair, what are you doing? Okay, I’m kidding. What I really meant to say was: If you didn’t cut your hair this summer, here’s a couple of reasons why you should have done it– and some reasons why it’s ok if you didn’t.
Pro: Every time someone sees you for the first time they scream about “your hair!”
Con: With all the commotion, squealing and hand motions, you don’t know really know if the phrases that surround “your hair” are “looks great!” or “is awful!” Plus, even members of the opposite sex start remarking on your haircut, and watching a man struggle with the complexities of the female haircut can be semi-painful. You’ll hear a lot of “You look different…” accompanied by a puzzled expression and maybe a little head scratching as they try to figure out exactly what changed about your appearance.
Pro: People start looking at you “in a different light”. Your hair will make you look edgy and cool, especially if your cut is severe or blocky, so you’ll finally feel like a proper Brown student. Someone who you’ve had your eye on might start noticing you, or at the very least they might remark on your appearance, meaning they’ve glanced at you once or more! And now they’re saying words to you! Woah!
Con: If you’re me, the “different light” you’re viewed in will be akin to that of a mother. Specifically, your mother. The sheer volume of people who have told me that I look like my mom is astounding and suffocating. I don’t look like a mom, okay? Leave me alone!
Pro: You love your hair because it’s so different. Your initial awe at your new appearance won’t fade for at least a month – which, trust me, is a long ass time. If you check yourself out in the reflective windows by Bio Med, be prepared to do a few double-takes. DAMN, you look like Charlize Theron from far away!
Con: You are often reminded your hair is just so different. (Yeah, what’s it to you, Shannon?!)
Pro: The Chop is kind of like the millennial version of the “Rachel.”
Con: The Chop is kind of like the millennial version of the “Rachel.”
Pro: You spend a lot less time in the shower. Also, you use less shampoo, and will probably save money on hair products! CVS will no longer rob you once a month. Actually, they still will. Especially when you want to shave your legs. (What’s with all the security on Venus lotion-coated razors? Like, damn, can’t a girl buy leg shaving supplies without paying $25 and feeling like she’s a low-tier criminal? I just don’t want to be hairy – is that too much to ask?)
Con: Less time practicing your Broadway debut in the shower. Also, you will use way too much conditioner at first, and this will have you looking like a Grease Ball of the 3rd Degree.
Pro: You can use hair products for “texture.” Your hair will actually have volume, and won’t weigh itself down. Before I cut my hair, volume was a completely foreign idea.
Con: You don’t know how to actually achieve volume because hair products are the worst. For one, they are SO expensive. And they’re extremely flammable. Watch out.
Pro: Short hair is so manageable.
Con: Short hair is easy to mess up. Long hair you can just comb out and put in a ponytail if need be. Short hair doesn’t fit entirely in a ponytail, so you’ll always have a weird ring of short hair hanging down around your neck, even when you’re working out. When I try to put my hair up to go for a run, I feel like I look like this guy:
Images via Daniella Balarezo and Sarah Master, via , and via.
