Freshman year was not easy for me. I anticipated immediately finding that camaraderie and love of the institution that everyone talks about, but ended up spending much of my first year wandering around campus feeling kinda lost. Eventually, I settled into an amazing friend group, and I felt like things couldn’t possibly get better for me here at Brown. That is, until I found my hat.
My hat and I met about two weeks ago, when I ventured to the Brown Bookstore with fellow Rib writer Elizabeth. We both wanted to buy Brown hats to show our pride at the Brown vs. Harvard football game (whatever rude thing you just thought about our team, shutup). I entered the bookstore and casually walked over to the hat section, not prepared for the life-altering union that was about to form. I barely glanced at the hat selection before instinctively knowing which hat was for me. It was like the wand choosing the wizard in Harry Potter.
Since then, we’ve been inseparable. My hat, named Neil Hatrick Hatriss, has made me feel like a Real College Kid. So often I see people walking around campus with hats on. I always think, “Gee, they look so cool! Where are they going? A baseball game? Fishing? Horeseback Riding? Who knows!” Now I am one of those cool kids.
My hat has many positive functions. For one, no more worrying about bad hair days! Curly girls out there, I know flyaways are a real problem in this colder weather. Who has the time to deal with all that frizz? Not me! Just buy yourself a hat like Neil and you’re good to go! It’s also a lot easier to avoid talking to people when I’m with Neil. If I’m in a mood and don’t want to talk to anyone, I put my head down and Neil generously covers my face. Most importantly, my hat makes me look like Judah Friedlander! Looking like Judah Friedlander wasn’t my original intent, but it’s certainly a bonus.
The transformative powers of this multi-functioning adornment are uncanny. A simple accessory changed me from a dazed and confused freshman into a sophomore with slightly better self-esteem. To anyone struggling to feel like you belong here at Brown, I encourage you to open up your wallet and bring a hat into your life. Who knows, maybe you’ll look like Judah Friedlander, too!