1.) The Eternal Load of Laundry: A striking mix of dingy whites and colors that occupies an annoyingly large space in the corner of every dorm laundry room. No one knows when this ancient pile of clothes was left in the laundry room, or by whom. It is remarkable both in its completeness and its longevity – scientists wonder how its creator has enough clothes to wear.
2.) The Overachiever: Anthropologists have traced the origin of modern college overachieving to an ancient culture known for being annoyingly popular, really smart, and well-rested. This walking paradox can be seen looking remarkably relaxed in any number locations.
3.) The Library: While it appears to be yet another riot-proof concrete building (or, if your college talks about their endowment a lot, a Hogwarts-style castle), college libraries are gathering points for the primitive inhabitants of university campuses. In most societies, these imposing edifices serve as a place dedicated to the mourning of ancestral GPAs. When winter rolls around, libraries are also notable for being the coldest existing indoor spaces on the globe.
4.) The Campus’s Comfiest Chair: Every campus has a comfiest chair. It’s typically located in an odd section of the student center or some obscure department building. The perfect place to study nap. Plush, squishy, quiet…just…just leave me here to die.
5.) A Good Meal In A Dining Hall: The sheer beauty of a not-just-edible-but-actually-tasty meal at a college dining hall has been known to bring diners to tears. This beautiful anomaly is often attributed to divine forces. Modern researchers hypothesize that tasty dining hall food may be the only truly random event in the known world.
6.) The Drunken Lazarus: This student routinely gets incredibly drunk incredibly quickly, to the point of actual illness. Expressing regrets the next morning, they vow never again to imbibe alcohol. Miraculously, they consistently break this promise the next weekend and suffer the exact same result. This cycle is considered to be a scientific oddity in that it displays the complete failure of operant conditioning on a sentient creature.
7.) Student With Dog: Hey, I know that kid. He’s in my English section. Where’d he get that dog? Is that his dog? How did…where…wh-…nngh. All I want is a dog, man. Just one little dog. Or a big dog. A golden retriever maybe. Or like one of those big furry ones with the little barrel around its neck. Yeah. Shit. Do you think he’ll let me pet it all the time if I share my notes?