Universally, psychics have a really bad rep. A simple Google search reveals the general attitude towards the profession, with articles such as this: “I Was One of America’s Top Psychics — And Like All Of Them, A Complete Fraud.” Heck, Shawn Spencer on my all-time favorite show Psych wasn’t a real psychic. I hope to dispel these negative rumors about psychics by sharing my own story. You see, I’m not a regular person. I’m a dream psychic.
It all started after I watched Welcome to Me one night in August 2015, right before going to bed. In this movie, Alice Klieg, played by Kristen Wiig, wins $86 million in the California Stack Sweepstakes. She uses the money to create her own talk show, which becomes wildly popular before Alice comes to terms with the mismanaging of her money and realizes that love is the only thing that matters blah blah sappy blah friends family blah money is just paper blah. To the point: that night, I dreamt that I had won the lottery. Not a small lottery, like $10 on a scratch ticket, but like, millions of dollars.
I woke up remembering some of the numbers that were on the winning lottery ticket in my dream: 9, 11, 14. They kept filtering in and out of my head, floating around in the space of my cranium like in that time-travel episode of SpongeBob when Squidward is alone.
I went to the gas station and filled out a Powerball ticket with those three numbers (and randomly picked another three to fill the ticket). The next morning, I checked the winning numbers. Sure enough, 9, 11, and 14 were there.
That’s pretty crazy, don’t you think!? I mean, I play Powerball every week, and I’m lucky if I match one number. Matching three numbers only gets you a $7 prize, which isn’t anything to brag about. But I can brag about the fact that those three numbers came to me in a dream, which therefore makes me a dream psychic. I am living proof that psychics are real. Step aside, Raven. There’s a new psychic in town.
Images via, via Sam Crausman, via, and via.