Captain’s Log 0001: A New Journey
It is 11:43 pm. I have arrived at the location of my summer internship: Amherst, Massachusetts. Population: 37,000. The streets are empty save for a few squirrels spotted here and there.
The house I will be staying at is very different, almost foreign from the suburban home I’ve known for two decades. In fact, I have just recently learned that there is no central air conditioning. It is yet unclear whether I will be able to deal with this.
Captain’s Log 0005: Some Surprising Revelations
This internship is turning out to be quite different than I had anticipated. For one, Meryl Streep has yet to make her grand entrance–but I must be patient. I am also forced to grind my own coffee beans, and when I look out the window, it’s just rural country as far as the eye can see.
The nights are far too quiet for my taste. Instead of comforting city sounds, there’s deafening silence interspersed with loud thunks as birds crash into my windows. I’m also quite put out that the only mainstream movie theatre nearby is an entire town over. This is inconvenient as there are many summer blockbusters I’ve had my eye on.
WWLID? (What Would Laura Ingalls Do?)
Captain’s Log 00038: Poor Socialization
Today, I called over a hundred people to discuss state politics, as I was being underpaid to do. At least twenty hung up on me and one told me to go fuck myself. Gilmore Girls lied to me about the quaintness of small town living.
Captain’s Log 0062: Creepy Crawlers
There are too many insects in the country. The sanctuary of my room was destroyed when a giant, unidentifiable bug flew into my room, and I proceeded to cry until he was disposed of.
Captain’s Log 00090: Free At Last
Today marks my departure from this not-so-idyllic small town. I venture back into city life, leaving nothing behind except my blood, sweat, tears, and a mysteriously broken toilet.
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