If you’re like me, you’re often the most unremarkable person in a group of people who are very, very easy to compliment.
“Oh, Maggie, are you still volunteering with those underprivileged infants this semester? How compassionate of you!”
“Tessa, your mother tells me your last dance recital was beautiful. It’s amazing what you do.”
“…Ali, hey. What’s up? I hear nowadays you’re very, very good at… um… Latin?”
Why, I am indeed. Thank you sir.
However, if you’re like me, that also means that you have been the recipient of the best form of flattery God’s green earth has to offer: the unconventional compliment. I mean, seriously, who needs to be told they’re pretty or smart or hard-working or funny or friendly or kind or tolerant or loved or at all bearable to be around? Not me, that’s for sure. I’ll take “you’re a great recycler” any day.
So whether you use this list of unconventional compliments I’ve received in my lifetime as a springboard for flattering your less interesting cousins, or as a confidence-booster when you realize no one’s had to dig this deep to say good things about you, just remember me next time you’re about to tell someone their hair looks nice today. Maybe it’d be more ~creative~ to comment on their impeccable walking stride instead.
- You have, like, the nicest earlobes I’ve ever seen. They’re miniscule, but they’re nice.
- Those glasses make you look like Professor Trelawney in the best way.
- You have really healthy fingernails.
- Wow! I’ve never seen one person eat that many potstickers by themselves before!
- I didn’t know people could actually turn green when they feel sick! Awesome!
- You vomit with incredible grace. (The previous three are, in fact, related.)
- You’re one of the few adults I know who will always be able to get roles in light musicals because your singing voice sounds prepubescent.
- Have you, like, never lost a game of Foursquare? Oh, you have? Huh. You were so adamant about the rules that it seemed like it must be super important to you.
- Your electronic devices have super creative names when I see them on Airdrop.
- I feel like you could sit comfortably at either the kid’s table or the adult’s table at Thanksgiving.
- You give off a vague sexy librarian vibe.
- Your emoji use is on point.
- You bleed a lot.
- I feel like your hair would make a really comfy blanket.
- I’m always impressed by your ability to consistently wear mismatched socks.
- Your name is the whitest, Western-Europeanest name I’ve ever heard that people consistently mispronounce anyway.
- Did you make that? Really? All of it? (referring to a pile of hair on the floor after a combing)
- You seem like you’d be REALLY fun to get high with.
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