Teaching assistants. We all have them. We all simultaneously love them and hate the subject they teach. We can all thank them for providing incredibly vague hints about upcoming exams.
Some of us have even fantasized about our future with our TA’s (in my case: I’m visualizing a studio apartment in Seattle with a daughter named Molly). However, TA’s only exist within the walls of their classrooms, right? Seeing them have actual lives and do normal things – eating cereal in the Ratty, crying in the hallways of the Scili, enjoying the tunes in the JWW mail room – would be ridiculous! However, unbelievable as it may seem, TA’s are real people, and navigating that student-teacher relationship can prove confusing, especially when you love them enough to publish your obsession on social media.
Here is my absolutely “expert” guide on encountering your teaching assistants outside of the academic sphere and possibly setting up some groundwork for your passionate romance together.
If you see them at the Ratty:
I’m a firm believer of never sitting alone at lunch; the busy noon rush at the dining halls is a great excuse to bother random people so I don’t feel like a friendless loser. If your TA’s table has an open spot, re-introduce yourself if necessary and pop a squat. Start to converse and you’ll soon discover your TA is a normal person with normal interests. Ask if they’re a dog or cat person, what their favorite salad dressing is (balsamic vinaigrette-honey mustard tie), the last four digits of their social security number, or their future children’s middle names! Use this personal information to get into their good graces, or figure out the answers to their online bank account security questions. If you’re a klepto like me, temporarily swipe their wallet to memorize their credit card numbers.
If they show up in your suggested friends on Instagram:
Follow your TA on Instagram. Friend them on Facebook. See the embarrassing pictures they posted anytime before 2012 and use them as potential blackmail for higher grades. There is nothing worse than a terrible photo resurfacing for the entirety of your social network to see. And if manipulation isn’t your game, then at least see the embarrassing e-mails of your peers asking if “Wikipedia is a valid source” plastered up on your TA’s page (seriously–just ask my roommate).
If they pop up on your Tinder feed:
If you desire to go to the next level with your former teaching assistants, then you have full reign to swipe right in the high hopes that you made an impression last semester. If you both match, prove to all your friends how cool you are. Meanwhile everyone else will be jealous since they couldn’t even get with their hot RPL let alone their TA. And if you happened to be in the super rare situation of having a new TA that you have previously matched with, either completely ignore the issue and all possible eye contact or embrace the awkward and incorporate their corny pick-up lines into every conversation you have, effectively embarrassing them into giving you an easy A.
Now for those of you worried about the rules, Brown’s policy on this issue, like many others, is incredibly vague. TA’s are “advised against” and “discouraged” from having amorous relationships with their students. Interpret it how you like, and tread carefully if you both decide to tread at all. It’s probably best for everyone involved to tackle your inevitable romance/pining from afar next semester.
Hopefully this will help you maximize your relationship with the students that just happen to be grading your papers.
Image via.