Overthink This Text, and We’ll Give You a Half-Assed Reply a Couple Hours Later!
Texting is easy, breezy, beautiful fun for us well-adjusted, super chill college students who overthink nothing, are super chill, well-adjusted and super chill.
Thx Chad
Art by Caroline Zerilli
On Making the First Move
I am a young, empowered, millennial woman, who no longer has the time to wait around. It’s 2017, so why shouldn’t I make the first...
Mark Zuckerberg PLEASE READ
Hey Mark Zuckerberg! How’s it going? Is life treating you nicely? I bet it is, since you created Facebook and everything. You can seriously do...
Sober at SW
I was sober at Spring Weekend this year. Shocking? Maybe. Apparently, not everyone at this prestigious institution is a perfect golden child like I am....
Open Letter to the People Who Don’t Text Back – Parents Edition
To my parents, who don’t always text back right away: this letter is for you. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Abby, there are days...
If You’re Reading This It’s Not Too Late to Download the Drizzy App
Last week, I received a life changing text: “You know I pop bottles ‘cause I bottle my emotions.” Initially, I thought my friend was fulfilling my...
Phoneless: Lessons in Being a Hermit
After a rather random turn of events over the past few days, I suddenly found myself phoneless. As I hate Facebook chat (and social media...
Texts from Mothers, As Told by My Mother
Now that I’m at college, my mother and I use texting (sometimes Facebook chat…. yes I know, she’s so hip) as our main source of...
Your Recently Used Emojis: A Window to the Soul
Whenever someone asks to use my phone, I usually have to do some emergency editing before forking over My Precious. This includes erasing incriminating texts,...