It’s The 5 Year High School Reunion and It’s Time To Find Out Who Vapes
Welcome to the 5 year high school reunion! We’re packing it all in: jello-shots in the locker room, unsupervised grinding to the greatest hits of...
www.conspiracytheories.net/tombrady+krisjenner
Hey guys, it’s Patti (@theparanoidbitch on Twitter) back with another #TheoryThursday. I just gotta start off by saying that we here at conspiracytheories.net have not...
My Application for “Married at First Sight”
Married at First Sight is a reality show masquerading as a “””social experiment””” to conceal the undeniable fact that is crazy, nutso, and overall, bonkers. A...
Thanks for Interrupting Me in Class!
Oh, hey Matthew!* Funny seeing you here, in this class that we take together. How are you? Oh, ha ha, that’s a funny story! You’re right,...
Do You Even Cough?
Dear Girl who was clearing her throat for the entirety of class, At first I thought it was just a tickle of the throat. After all, that...
A Star is Born
Even though I’m a celebrity now, I’m still the same old Allie Greenberg. My career has taken off after my breakout interview with WJAR NBC...
On Navigating Cuffed Jeans During Winter
When I first arrived to campus, I urgently tried to assimilate to Brown’s culture. I didn’t want to stand out as an obvious newcomer within...
Puritan Suburbia
ELIAS: Good morrow, neighbor! How fares thee on this fine day? JEZEBEL: Good morrow, Elias. ‘Tis a fine day indeed. I’m faring well, sweeping my porch and...
The Trials of (Cactus) Motherhood
While hustling to the Ratty on a mission for tater tots and Rhody Fresh milk, I was distracted by a casual yet calculated display of...
Your New Favorite Water
NASA has found traces of water on the surface of Mars. This groundbreaking discovery presents all kinds of exciting possibilities for humanity. You may be...