A Valentine’s Day Card for the Guy You’re Kind of with but Not Really Sure???
2.14.17 Dear Dan, I know we aren’t like, together together, and we don’t have a label on it—not that “it” is really anything at all,...
Barking Up the Wrong Tree
I spent a greater portion of the last year wanting a boyfriend. I have been working on a long term writing project which causes...
Carrie and Harrison: I deserve this
November 15th. It started off like any other normal day, didn’t it? I had eggs and toast for breakfast (perfect energy boost). It was a...
My Summer Fling with MATLAB
Summer loving, had me a blast Summer loving, happened so fast I met a girl, crazy for me Met a proprietary programming language, cute as...
My Mother, Tinder Goddess
A Joint Piece by Sarah & Christine Loftus Master My mother, the incomparable Christine, recently made her grand re-entry into the world of dating. As...
“Dating” Advice From Mommy Dearest
Living as a hopelessly romantic, single lady for nineteen years, I’ve definitely dabbled in various areas in the dating app world. Buuuut something I always struggle with is...
A Series of Unfortunate Hook-ups: Part II
Two years ago, I spoofed Lemony Snicket’s “Series of Unfortunate Events” for my debut on The Rib by cataloguing the absurd hook-ups that defined my...
To The One Who Broke My Heart
My Dearest, I hope you are well. It’s been a couple of days since you walked out my shitty Perkins door, and I know you...
Ratty Romance (And Other Dining Hall Dream Dates)
I had a dream that I got hit on at the Ratty salad bar. An at-night dream, an aspirational dream, both—who’s to say? The point...
I Was Sexy (and Then I Finished Reading)
I discovered my sensuality in the Ratty. No, this is not a joke. On a chilly Saturday morning, I sat down to breakfast in the...