I am the Hot TA
There is nothing quite as satisfying as being a teaching assistant. I’ve wanted to be a TA since I first came to Brown, both because...
Bee Wars
This past weekend, our room had an intruder that tried to break in on not just one but two separate occasions. On Sunday, this demon...
Sober at SW
I was sober at Spring Weekend this year. Shocking? Maybe. Apparently, not everyone at this prestigious institution is a perfect golden child like I am....
Spring Weekend: A Fresh Perspective
My Spring Weekend probably went a little differently than yours. While you were pregaming with friends, bedecked in your finery of crop tops and glittering...
Putting the Pro in Procrastination
It’s a common affliction for the modern college student: procrastination, that self-sabotaging mind game of avoidance, excuses, and more often than not, falling into the infinite...
A Series of Unfortunate Hook-ups: Part II
Two years ago, I spoofed Lemony Snicket’s “Series of Unfortunate Events” for my debut on The Rib by cataloguing the absurd hook-ups that defined my...
To The One Who Broke My Heart
My Dearest, I hope you are well. It’s been a couple of days since you walked out my shitty Perkins door, and I know you...
Pass(These Damn Exams)over
Well, it’s that time of year again. Your friendly neighborhood Jews are throwing out all their baked goods (protip: Passover is the best time of...
The Condemning Concentration
Earlier this week, I received an email that may or may not determine the rest of my path through life. “Congratulations, your concentration has been...
How to Be Gwyneth Paltrow: College Student Edition
by Nicole Martinez Are you a rich, famous, pretentious, attractive individual? Of course you’re not! You’re a bloated college student whose diet consists of Jo’s mozzy sticks,...