Report: Skinny Baby Does Not Pass the Vibe Check
Skinny baby does not pass the vibe check, according to a new study
New Baby in Town? Here’s How to Get Your Throne Back
She can only say one word but the family is abuzz. “The future! This is our future!” they cry. Lord help us.
Love for Fledgling and Mature Humans
Wandering the nooks and crannies of any college campus produces sights that are essentially the same: most places have some sort of hallowed building (i.e....
Baby Mama
This is an actual excerpt transcribed verbatim from my 4th grade diary, dated January 13, 2004: My babysitter Andren is having a baby. It...
Rib Beef: Babies vs. Old People
(in collaboration with Nicole Martinez) A carefree, tinkling giggle. The dampened whinny of a nose being blown into a monogrammed cotton handkerchief. These are the...
10 Things That Are Super Cute (And Totally Shouldn’t Be)
1. Those tiny forks you get at fancy restaurants. Holy hell, it’s tiny. Why? Why is it so tiny? What food could possibly exist that...
Staring Contest: A Champion’s Guide to Staying That Way
Last spring, on one of those beautiful sunny days when you feel like the whole world is birthday cake and tulips, I was sitting on...