I’m about to experience my first spring break as a college student. I’ve seen all those quintessential movies about people going crazy during spring break. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I will not be spending spring break getting lost in Cancún with five friends that look like supermodels and waking up with a bad tattoo. Instead, I’ll be going home for spring break. For some reason, I imagined it would be an idyllic week of bonding with all the friends that I miss from back home. But in reality, none of my friends have the same spring break as I do. In fact, most of my own family won’t even be home during the week. So, if your spring break is looking as lit as mine is at this point, please enjoy this list of solo spring break activities.
1) Be a Woooo Girl by yourself.
Scream “Wooooooooooooo!” in super loud voice, as if you’ve taken a love shot with all your girlfriends at a trendy bar. Make sure that you are completely sober. It’s a lot more fun that way. I’m sorry if you startle your dog.
2) Swim some laps at your local public pool.
It’s essentially the same thing as enjoying the sand and the surf at a hip beach resort. You might not be able to frolic in the waves, but you’ll have fun throwing on a sexy swim cap.
3) Pretend you’re on a road trip while you drive to Trader Joe’s.
You probably have to go grocery shopping at some point during the week so that you don’t starve. Take this opportunity to imagine that you’re going to a music festival or someplace equally chic. Sing along loudly to classics like “Tik Tok” and “Boom Boom Pow” that are nostalgic for the whole crew. Silently reminisce about your favorite memories and inside jokes.
4) Bother your friends that are still in high school
Everyone loves that alum that hangs out at their old high school all the time, right? Interrupt classes until your old teachers find a polite way to kick you out. Convince everyone that you’re a super cool college student and dole out sage advice like “Go to office hours” and “Try new things.” I’m sure people will appreciate your unwavering presence. Bonus points if you manage to make it to your elementary or middle school and hang out on the swing set alone.
5) Sleep
Sleep is here for you when people aren’t. You’ll have the rare opportunity to start school feeling refreshed while everyone else is still hungover. It’s important to be especially alert as you peruse all the new Facebook albums to intensify your jealousy.