The New York Times recently published an article detailing the significant amount of calories many of us inadvertently consume when eating at the only fast food restaurant that matters, Chipotle. Read it at your own risk. In the meantime, I am going to unpack my reactions to this sharp journalistic blow in my burrito-filled gut.
- I’m going to keep eating at Chipotle.
- But let’s be real: is any of this actually a surprise?
- It’s not like I’m eating it every day. This week.
- I never thought the health-obsessed fast food backlash would make it to Chipotle. I’m really shook up right now.
- I know the Times is supposed to inform the public and all that, but sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
- There’s a “guac costs extra calories” joke in here somewhere.
- How’s Taco Bell taking this news?
- Sofritas wasn’t included in this sample, but everyone knows sofritas taste like nothing, which obviously means it has no calories. Long live sofritas!
- But sometimes you just need a 1,000 calorie burrito, you know?
- The article made no mention of Chipotle margarita purchases, which I imagine could adversely affect the amount of chips and guac consumed.
- Is this actually suggesting we order Chipotle sans rice and beans? Doesn’t the New York Times have editors?
- Some of the meals with higher calorie counts include chips and guacamole in addition to a burrito! Who besides the 1% spends that much on a single meal at Chipotle?
- Also, it seems that most of the meals above 1,000 calories are above that mark because they include chips. If you’re counting calories, maybe don’t do that!
- Be this article good or bad, Qdoba wishes it had publicity like this.
- Tortillas are about 300 calories each, but I don’t think the writers considered that they are divine. I’m looking forward to a counterpoint Times op-ed on this topic.
- I still don’t understand how anyone likes sour cream. If someone could explain it to me, that would be great.
- The research clearly did not account for the calories in that inch at the bottom of the burrito that no one eats because it’s lost all structural integrity by then.
- I wonder if there will be a correlation between reading this article and investigating one’s genetic predisposition for heart disease.
- Bowls and burritos are each referred to as a “vessel,” so if this calorie exposé really messes with Chipotle, it sounds like they at least have a future in seafaring.
- To anyone thinking they can just consume their daily recommended amount of calories at Chipotle and nothing else: please don’t do that.
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