Some Sad Couplets from the Apple in my Fridge.

What I thought would be a regular ol’ Tuesday afternoon, filled with inappropriately timed naps and scheduled mental breakdowns, was sent for a whirl when I came home to my dorm and found several scraps of paper littered outside my mini-fridge. Now, I am 100% definitely a slob, but I think would’ve remembered tossing a dozen strips of paper onto the floor. Upon closer examination, I realized that these pieces of paper were tiny poems written to me by the apple that had been in my fridge for nearly five weeks. Here’s a few of them:

Let me out! I’m rotting in here

or I’ll tell mom you’re drinking beer.

Shall I compare thee to a dumbass?

Thou art more careless and have no class.

~

Why are you constantly eating Cheez Its?

Compared to a Granny Smith, they’re the pits!

~

Just throw me out! Bake me in a bread!

Give me to a friend! Bash me in the head!

~

You open the fridge and me, you simply ignore

Why the milk over me? Wish I was back in the store.

~

I refuse to remain here, bruised and rotten

Oh, I shall have my revenge! I will not be forgotten.

Tragic.

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