I don’t know about you, but I had a terrific summer. One of my favorite parts of this summer is that it wasn’t winter. Fuck winter. I hate winter. Winter is the worst, always, no exceptions. Well, one exception. I love the holiday season because I really like getting people presents. I’m usually pretty good at it, too. One could say I have a gift for gifts. Hahahahaha, sorry. Just kidding. So sorry.
I know there are people out there who aren’t blessed with this natural talent, especially when it comes to things like “Secret Santa”, where you sometimes end up having to buy something for people you don’t know all that well. To those people I say, suck it! But also, worry not! I’m here to help you out. I’ve compiled a list of ideas that would suit literally anybody in your friend circle. Take a look:
For your friend who just went through a breakup: Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings. While Miranda’s denied that this is a “breakup album,” several of the songs hit on themes of love, loss, and the road to finding happiness. This is especially true of heart-wrenchers such as “Tin Man” and “Well-Rested.”
For your friend who’s studying abroad next semester: Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings. If not a breakup album, then it seems to be a wanderlust album, with Miranda longing for a good getaway on songs like “Highway Vagabond,” “I’ve Got Wheels,” and her stellar cover of Danny O’Keefe’s “Covered Wagon.”
For your friend who likes keeping up with the tabloids: Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings and Blake Shelton’s “If I’m Honest.” Battle of the celebrity divorce albums! Guess who wins! Hint: It’s obviously Miranda, duh. Listen to “Pushin’ Time” vs “Go Ahead and Break My Heart” and tell me it’s not obviously Miranda.
For your friend who keeps killing plants: Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings We all have that one friend whose defining features are destructiveness and inability to take care of themselves. Miranda’s probably that for her friend group, as she can and does relate on songs like “We Should Be Friends” and “Things That Break.”
For your friend who gets turnt every night of the week: Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings. Miranda knows all about the importance of using spirits to soothe your soul every once in a while (read: every once in a half hour), and offers words of solidarity on songs such as “Ugly Lights” and hit single “Vice.”
For your fashionista friend: Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings. Miranda always brings her A-game when it comes to red carpet style, and she is generous enough to share tips for everyday fashion on this album, for tastes ranging from uber-feminine in “Pink Sunglasses” to more casual in “Tomboy.”
For your friend who’s into fitness: Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings. A longtime advocate for body positivity, Miranda stresses the importance of cardiovascular activity on songs like “Runnin’ Just in Case” and “Use My Heart.”
For your friend who listens to Miranda Lambert: Probably already has three copies of Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings. I know I do. Huh? What? Who said that? I don’t have three copies of Miranda Lambert’s “The Weight of These Wings”. That would be ridiculous. Ha ha. Ha. Anyway. I honestly don’t know, you’re on your own for this one.
Images via Annie Warner, via, via.
Editor’s Note: The Rib is, tragically, not sponsored by Miranda Lambert’s The Weight of These Wings.