Resting Nice Face

I have a problem. Actually, I have a lot of problems. Too many for just one post. But the one I’m going to tackle here is a dilemma I only recently began to notice. I suppose it’s been happening to me all my life, but only now has it become blatant.

It all started with a trip to the dentist. As I was in the chair, my gums aching and spit accumulating in the back of my throat, my dental hygienist noticed a funny spot of light on the wall. And this spot of light prompted the telling of saga involving the death of her father, the spreading of his ashes on a canoe trip, her sensing his spirit in funny spots of light, her pets, her father’s last words to her (“You should get on match.com”), a date she went on with someone she met on match.com, and the conclusion that it didn’t work out between her and the person she met on match.com.*

And this was all totally unprompted. I was sitting with my mouth hanging open like a dead bass, unable to give any verbal cues beyond “ugghwwwh.”

This visit to the dentist was the first of many encounters of a similar nature, the first instance of someone unloading their life’s story on me.

To provide another example, here are some things I know about the Uber driver I had on Monday:

1. Both of us prefer broccoli cheddar to any other soup
2. He enjoys green smoothies
3. He appreciates a home cooked meal, and thinks his friend’s wife is a good cook
4. He has two kids, a son and a daughter
5. He’s been to Disney World twice
6. He will be returning to Disney World this spring
7. He likes Disney World and is excited to return
8. Two weeks is a good amount of time to spend at Disney World

And meanwhile, I’m sitting in the back seat thinking, Dang, two weeks? That’s a long ass time to spend at Disney World!

But more importantly, I was thinking, Why on earth are you telling me all of this?

Why indeed. And so I began to share some of these experiences with my friends, and they all said the same thing.

They told me I have resting nice face.

According to Urban Dictionary, resting nice face is “a person who naturally looks ‘nice’ or ‘approachable’ when their face is expressionless, without meaning to.”  The condition is similar in concept to resting bitch face, but with opposite consequences.

You or a loved one might also be afflicted by resting nice face. Symptoms of resting nice face include: people smiling at you unprovoked, people in the library or in Starbucks asking you to watch their stuff while they pee, people telling you their whole life’s story, and a subtle but persistent aching in your cheeks.

Possible treatments include: wearing sunglasses to prevent eye contact, eating lemon slices to prevent smiling, and finally, cutting two eye holes in a paper grocery bag and placing it over your head.

*This post was not sponsored by match.com

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