I am proud to say that I am straight as a circle. But alas, I still possess a ~reluctant~ attraction to m*n. They’re sweaty, bossy, and arrogant, but they’re sweatyyy, bossyy, and arrogant 🥵. So, here are the list of things and people that keep me a bisexual.
- Corpse’s voice
Listen, this man puts his whole throatussy into his videos. If he so much as whispered in my ear, I would have no choice but to pull my pants down.
- Weirdly specific video game characters
Ex. 1: Bigby from The Wolf Among Us
Ex. 2: Damien from Monster Prom
Ex. 3: Lee from The Walking Dead
- Men that look like this:
Okay I KNOW this guy would be like ‘Oh what am I listening to? Oh, you probably haven’t heard of them, they’re pretty underground, they’re called Tame Impala.’ But if a guy looks like he could be bisexual, I remember that I am not a lesbian.
- Gong Yoo
I really don’t need to explain. Everything about him is perfect. Eyes, ears, mouth, nose, body. He didn’t even need more screen time in Squid Game. He didn’t have to talk much in Train to Busan. I’m sure he asked the directors “uh, shouldn’t I have more lines?” and they were probably like ‘no, you sit still and look pretty.’ In short, I would have this man’s babies if it meant he gets to Yoo in my Gong.
- A$AP Rocky
He has the power to pull Rihanna. Men like him make me ashamed of what I would do for this male gaze.
I happen to sometimes like men, especially men at Brown. They make me laugh. Some want to mansplain bitcoin, some want to show me how good they are at climbing roofs, and some show me the things they made at the BDW. My favorites are the nerdy guys who are scared of women. Their adorable fear along with the types of men listed above are what keep me from identifying as a lesbian.