As senior year looms in front of us, and the beautiful memories of study abroad fade behind us, a lot of my friends are newly single. While some of them are invigorated, plenty of others feel displaced, and the opposite of “ready to mingle.” As someone who has been alone since the beginning of time (freshman year), I consider myself an expert. In my attempts to comfort my friends about their romantic woes, I started to think critically: is being single really that bad?
It definitely feels lousy in the moment. Too many nights have I called a party quits, or drank too much, because I was feeling lonely and unwanted. Walking around campus, it can feel like everyone has a significant other but you. However, these are all temporary feelings.
As I mentioned before, I’ve been single forever, but my love-related angst is always distinctly in the present. Maybe last weekend felt somber in the moment, but if I travel more than a month back in my memory, everything seems awesome. Rationally, I understand that I was bummed about lacking a boyfriend freshman year. But, when I try to recall that year, all that comes to mind is how many cool people I met, and what a lovely time I had. Either I have horrible long-term memory, or this is a comforting realization!
Just like labor pains, your most poignant perceptions of romantic solitude will fade with time. In contrast, a bad relationship can ferment with age.
Whether your college partner is meh or awesome, chances are that they will be a definitive aspect of your time on campus. If you’re single, your college experience is defined by your friends. This isn’t to say that relationships cannot be amazing, and maybe even worth the eventual break-up, but everyone should stop fretting that they’re missing out by not being in one. College will seem cool, even though you took some or all of the ride solo.
Plus, teenagers are (apparently) way more susceptible to conflating romantic relationships with happiness, in comparison to adults. The future is bright (although potentially filled with cats)!
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