Poetry from the Hill: Weary Soul Edition

 

I truly embraced the rhyme in this more traditional selection of poems. Read alone.

 

Finals

Freshman fifteen

Finals five hundred

 

When all you consume

is pasta and muffins

your parents will gasp

when they see you huffin’

(and puffin’)

Ode to Peas

Frozen peas,

my favorite snack

You are embalmed

in an icy sack

 

A second verse

to you is due

But I don’t know

I feel like this much is fine

 

You’re just peas

 

Ode to Donald Drumpf

If scientists discovered

That you weren’t real

 

I would say “Oh

okay, I get it now”

 

HBO Go

HBO Go

Away

I’m trying to work

 

I didn’t mean that

I love you

Best friend

 

My Grandma

We call my grandma Lizzy Boo

She goes for walks and drinks wine too

 

The boo gets winded when buckling her seatbelt

and all times of year, sweats so much she could melt

 

The boo has no cat but mumbles a lot

Mumble mumble, she never stops!

 

My grandma could be just like yours

except mine drinks more wine

for sure

 

Ambition

She pulls a ZipCar mini-van up to a KFC drive-through

 

Watching Fox News Alone

This was a choice that I made once.

 

Fox & Friends Nose

You can pick your friends

and you can pick your nose

but if you pick your nose

you will be socially ostracized

and by default

you will have

no friends

 

Sorry, Blue State Coffee Employees

I’m sorry that I never tip

especially when

my order’s annoying

 

You may be thinking

I’m a jerk

but maybe you’re

a jerk as well

 

To sum it up

I don’t know you

and I don’t owe you

anything

 

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