Forget Disney princess movies, Peter Pan is where it’s at. First of all, Tinker Bell is way cooler than a princess and the friendship she has with Peter Pan is so cute. Second of all, much like Harry Potter, Peter Pan gives hope to us Muggles—er, normal people. This hope comes in the form of Wendy, a totally normal girl who’s just chilling in her house one night when Peter Pan comes to her window and takes her on the sickest adventure ever. Harry Potter left me eagerly waiting for an acceptance letter on my 11th birthday, and Peter Pan left me hoping a stranger would come through my window and take me away!
But truly, Peter Pan is magical. Anyone who’s been lucky enough to go on the Peter Pan Disneyland ride can attest to this. The best part is the first room, when you board the pirate ship and soar above the night sky of London. You feel, like, so alive. Seriously, it’s awesome and worth the 45-minute wait time.
You know what’s not worth waiting for? The Peter Pan bus. Now when I first bought a ticket on this East Coast budget bus line back in February, I wasn’t quite expecting a perfect replication of the London sky, but I was expecting a few things that didn’t happen, such as punctuality, a super cheap price, and relatively normal passengers.
Having now taken Peter Pan numerous times from Providence to New York City (holla at the regulars on the 3:10pm Friday busssss) I consider myself to be somewhat of an expert on this bus line. When I first saw the green Peter Pan letters whizzing past me on the highway, I wondered why this name had been chosen. I still don’t know the answer to this, but I’ve decided to formally compare them here, because after all, they do have the same name:
The buses are like so, so late
I guess it’s that whole business thing called a monopoly. Peter Pan seems to be the most popular bus line in the Providence area, and even if it wasn’t, I doubt any other bus lines run on a more efficient schedule. Usually they arrive about 10 minutes late, but what confuses me the most is the “estimated arrival times”- which are never adjusted, even when there’s traffic.
Do you think Wendy arrived late to Neverland? No, she didn’t, because time basically doesn’t exist in Neverland, hence why you can’t grow up.
Plus one for the movie, minus two for the bus line.
The Priceeee
Excuse me, but Wendy most definitely got a free ride to Neverland, and I would personally say that that experience is worth a lot more than this $29-$37 ride.
I will admit that it’s a lot more reasonable than the $200 Amtrak trip, which has the same exact travel time. Although, I have heard that the Amtrak trip has a prettier view than the Peter Pan bus route.
ALSO, I guess I am sort of glad this Peter Pan bus isn’t extremely cheap. Extremely cheap would be the $1 megabuses that occasionally explode into flames on the highway. So if you’re like me and don’t want to die in a fire (this really sounds like the worst possible way to go), then you can throw in a twenty-dollar bill or two and ride on a slightly less shitty bus that probably won’t spontaneously combust.
Plus one for the movie, minus one for the bus line (and minus 500 for megabus)
Your fellow passengers
Your companions are not a fairy and your two little brothers. (Also you are sitting not flying, so like minus one thousand points right there)
Instead, your companions are probably either a snoring man, a woman with an enormous statue on her lap (really, this happened to me) or a little boy who doesn’t stop whining the entire time.
Plus three for the movie.
Final Conclusion:
Guys, Peter Pan is honestly so lovely. Idk who thought comparing a bus to a magical boy—or for that matter, comparing Port Authority to Neverland–was a good idea, but I certainly do not.
So I think we have a winner here! Shocking, I know, but I’m thinking the movie is better than the budget bus line.
Although that being said, I do have to give some points to Peter Pan the bus for actually existing in my life. Unlike Peter Pan the boy, who never frickin’ showed up at my window, I can always rely on the bus on Friday afternoons….even if it shows up an hour late.