After lots of sprinkler leakages and pipes bursting, it appears that many of the buildings on campus are getting a little excited (these buildings aren’t cold, they’re hot). As the infamous 2/14 approaches, here’s how the places you know and love are dealing with their walking-distance relationships.
Andrews and Mo-Champ: are actually Andrea and Molly, but obviously being around since 1947 and 1960 didn’t give them the chance to be who they really were or be with who they really wanted to be with. Hopefully they continue to like each other, because with foundations like theirs, they’re (literally) stuck together.
Sci-Li and Diman House: apparently the SciLi invented a new challenge, broke his own pH scale and scored, because his Dime was flooded. Unfortunately, his challenge involved not taking a “no” from Diman, and we don’t support that. According to her neighbors, she appears to be doing okay after the ordeal, but they’re checking in on her hourly.
Alumni Hall and SmittyB: they’re either one of those old couples who’ve been together forever and take romantic long walks talking about life, OR they’re two people who have just met and are still standing a quad away from one another (because of cooties, obviously). The former is probably more accurate as they chuckle away at the baby buildings struggling to communicate, and shake their heads at others not being able to take “no” for an answer.
MacMillan and GeoChem: did their MD-PhD’s together, got rich off of the 2008 financial crisis, and now hold hands and eat gluten-free, lactose-free, flavor-free popcorn as they watch students suffer through their labs. They may hate everyone else, but at least they don’t hate each other.
The Ratty and the Ivy Room: one’s literally inside the other.
Faunce: is doing perfectly fine by themselves, and whenever they need to vent or get a massage, their pal the Blue Room is right there with a playlist of bops and a latte. The Blue Room is probably in the friendzone, but they’re hanging onto the possibility that Faunce might actually be interested, so they always stay super close.
Whether you’re going into this Valentine’s Day single, cuffed, or in a ~situation~, know that the houses of academia around you are also going through it. Where you really want to be is the Van Wickle Gates: loving yourself so much that you only need to open up twice a year, not for any building you can find from the sidewalk, but for real people.
Image via.
