In a quest to graph my life, I have stumbled across the one that exemplifies most of my daily experiences. This graph demonstrates a sense of building excitement, turned to apathy, and then disapproval. Perhaps it is the weak, “quitter” mentality my middle-school gym coach warned me about that makes these graphs so relatable – even so, I’ll stand by it as the ultimate graph for all scenarios:
You know how this works, first you hear it in your friend’s car. Next, it’s the on the radio that faintly plays out of the cafeteria kitchen. You begin to like this song…maybe you even add it to a Spotify playlist or two. As time progresses, you notice that it comes up on all of your Pandora stations. It’s always on in the gym. Suddenly inescapable, the song loses its original flair. (I’m talking to you, Lorde.)
Ah, Autumn, season of changing leaves, brisk mornings, and copious amounts of knitwear. Frankly, if you aren’t wearing at least one knitted (or crocheted) item, you need to reevaluate your fashion choices and befriend a kindly elderly woman. As winter approaches, donning four pieces of knitwear hits the sweet spot: wooly socks, snuggly sweater, warm gloves, and a scarf so big it lusts after Nicki Minaj’s butt. Maybe even a pair of tights for good measure. Past that, things get weird – knitted underwear is just plain unnecessary.
And with Autumn comes midterm season. Upon entering the library, you can feel energized and productive. Eight hours in, your will to live wanes.
If the subject of your costume is sexy, by all means be sexy. If the subject of your costume is a puppet from a children’s show, consider reevaluating your costume. Don’t make me simultaneously sad about our collective childhood and the future of our generation.
It’s easy to get excited about pumpkin-flavored things in early October when the taste of a certain spice latte is new to your tongue. At a certain point, the taste of pumpkin abruptly shifts from delightfully autumnal to cloyingly artificial. Luckily, you never have to wait too long for peppermint season.
Sexy Sesame Street Image via Yandy.com