You caught me. Today is Valentine’s Day and I’m single. Again Still. But instead of drowning in ice-cream and self-pity this year, I’ve found four resources to get through 2/14/2015 in good(ish) spirits!
1. Anti-Valentines. Instead of dwelling on the fact that I have absolutely no one (other than my mother) to send a valentine to this year, I’m looking on the bright side! My list of people who I not only do not love but also avidly feel the antithesis of love towards is long and thriving! So why weep over unsent valentines when I can send ANTI-valentines abundant! I think I may even check out a new website, Ship Your Enemies Glitter, whose mission statement claims: “WE SEND GLITTER TO THE PEOPLE YOU HATE. Glitter as a Service: want to piss off someone you dislike for only $9.99? Let us send them some stupid fucking glitter that is guaranteed to go everywhere” (via).
2. Love for Sale. Maybe I haven’t been putting out the right vibes. With the help of artist Annica Lydenberg and her “Love for Sale” collection I’ll start off the new Valentine’s year with the right information on the line (and my walls). But for real, I love how Lyndenberg is making fun of a holiday that commercializes love using vintage window sign designs as inspiration for her typographic prints. Sarcastic art for my sarcastic dorm room? Yes please.
3. A new body pillow. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I don’t have needs. Cuddling needs. This year for Valentine’s Day, I have decided to retire BoPeep the BodyPillow, my old, worn out, lumpy cuddle companion, for Carlton the Carrot! A four-foot carrot body pillow for only $100?? Enough said. Happy Valentine’s Day to ME!
4. Invisible Boyfriend. Who am I kidding? I may be a commitment-phobe who’s against relationship in theory and in practice 364 days a year but it’s Valentine’s Day and being single on the 14th of February just sucks. Enter Invisible Boyfriend. As the new venture’s site states, “Invisible Boyfriend gives you real-world and social proof that you’re in a relationship – even if you’re not – so you can get back to living life on your own terms” (via). Sounds pretty sweet. You can have text convos, social media presence, pics, and more. Sometimes you just need someone to play make believe with on V-Day. #nojudgement
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL MY SINGLE LADIES [insert funny <3 themed Beyoncé gif here]