We need to talk about girls talking about masturbation.
Sure, we can talk about girls masturbating too, if you want. But what we REALLY need to talk about is actually talking about it. You like to masturbate? Awesome — I’m happy for you. You have a significant other or multiple others and don’t feel the need? That’s great too. Masturbation just doesn’t float your boat? That’s totally valid. In all honesty, it doesn’t really matter which girls do or don’t masturbate. What does matter is actually having a dialogue about it.
The conversation surrounding female masturbation is stunted and, to be honest with you, I’m not sure why. There’s a stigma surrounding female self-pleasure. A friend recently told me, “I feel like it’s gross for girls and normal for boys.” Sadly, I can say that she is definitely not the only one of us that feels that way. But why? Why is it icky for girls to masturbate, but a social norm for boys?
Have you seen or heard of the movie Don Jon? (If you haven’t, it’s basically David Gordon-Levitt masturbating for 90 minutes. And yes, I did ~accidentally~ watch this movie with both mom and dad.) Where is Donna Joanna? Okay, it’s a stretch. But really, it’s a legitimate question. A movie centered around a woman pleasuring herself? I’ll climb Mount Everest when that happens.
It seems that just about everything else sexual or sex-related goes. I learned about circle-jerks in the 8th grade. Anal sex? Let’s chat about it. Threesomes and orgys? Eh, they were socially acceptable pre-Woodstock era. I might even venture to call them outdated. Want to go down to the infamous Mister Sister Erotica on Wickenden to look at penis accouterments made of candy or buy a G-spot-focused vibrator? Yeah, I did that freshman year. But actually talking about girls flickin’ their bean behind closed doors? SHHHHHH. Really, shut up. We don’t talk about THAT.
I have a friend who owns this shirt:
And she LOVES to wear it. I mean, come on, it’s f**king amazing. But you know when she wears it most? When we’re going to a house party or out to a bar and she doesn’t want men to hit on her. And it works. Weird, right? WRONG. If there’s some crazy taboo about seeing b00bies (on a shirt) out in public how are we ever going to start talking about women and masturbation?
I say we start one statement, one conversation at a time. Ladies, sit down with a couple girlfriends and just discuss it. Talk about how awkward it was the first time and how far you’ve come since. Tell your dude friends you want them to ask you questions and start establishing a level of comfort. Yeah, we could certainly use a little help from the media. Maybe Donna Joanna should be a thing. Maybe Miley touching herself on stage makes us more uncomfortable about the conversation, but we can do it. Let’s get the conversation started. Because not only does it feel amazing to masturbate, but it’ll also feel amazing to talk about it.
image via