March Madness: Brunonian Edition

For some people, March is the month when winter slowly melts into spring and midterms remove any joy from our lives. For others, it’s madness. Literally. As the third month of the year finally draws to a close, there’s only one thing that really matters. I’m talking about March Madness.

What is March Madness? I have absolutely no clue. It’s about sports. I’m at least sure about that. I believe it’s basketball? I don’t know. Something involving lots of balls, men, and brackets. As someone who has zero interest in most competitive sports, I sometimes feel a bit left out. I want to partake in all the March Madness fun but without the sports. This is why compiled a list of some major things that annoy Brown students and pit them against one another in a special bracket that actually has real life significance. Here are my predictions on the winners:

9am classes vs. Sections

Even though we all woke up at 7am for high school, attending 9am classes is just so unrealistic nowadays. You expect me to pay attention this early in the morning? What’s that you say? This is a mandatory class for my concentration that isn’t offered at any other time slot? Cool.

Unfortunately sections aren’t any better. Mandatory attendance? Active discussion? Required readings? Participation is only like 5% of my grade. It’s fine. I don’t need to talk.

My prediction: No matter how much I hate pretending to be engaged in an active discussion about some book I did not read during section, there’s no doubt that 9am classes will win this battle. Just pray that they have lecture capture.

Getting to the front of the line when they just run out of food vs. Having to wait on a really long line to get food

The sheer disappointment one feels when they finally reach the front of the line in the dining hall and realize there’s no food left is heart wrenching. Now you have to awkwardly wait until a new batch of food is heated up while a crowd of hungry students impatiently wait behind you. It’s too late to turn back now. You just have to wait it out. Every single awkward minute.

Speaking of waiting, long food lines are the worst mostly because they usually mean the Ratty is serving something decent for dinner today. And now you have to wait that much longer to actually get something edible. To get in line or to wait until it gets shorter? That’s the real question.

My prediction: I have to give this one to getting to the front of the line right when they run out of food. So close, yet so far away.

People who don’t clean up their trash vs. People who leave their clothes in the washing machine

Honestly there are so many gross people on this campus who have no manners. If you leave your trash lying around in Jo’s and don’t bus your plates in the Ratty, I don’t want to even imagine what your room looks like.

Accidentally leaving your clothes in the washing machine happens to the best of us. We can’t all be perfect, but you have to draw the line somewhere. If your clothes are still in a soggy pile three days later, we’re going to have a problem. No one wants to move your damp underwear.

My prediction: People who don’t clean up their trash. Who do you think you are? You’re a college student, not a child. Have some respect.

The Housing Lottery vs. Your professor never answering your emails

The Housing Lottery ruins lives and friendships. Enough said.

Just thinking about that one professor who still has never answered ANY of my emails leaves me in a seething rage. I don’t want to talk about it.

My prediction: Honestly you can’t go wrong with either one, but I’m going to choose the Housing Lottery. If you really want an answer from an elusive professor, you can always camp out outside their office but doing the same with ResLife probably won’t get you anywhere.

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