There are a number of phrases you can say in the bedroom to kill the mood. Most of them probably involve your parents. However, there is one phrase in particular that wreaks havoc on my libido (in a bad way). This saying is evil incarnate precisely because it does not mean to be offensive, but seeks to please. It is the product of misunderstanding.
Okay, enough messing around. Never say “I’m going to make you come.”
I know you mean well enough – you want me to climax and that’s great, but doll face, you’re not going to make me do anything.
First of all, stop putting pressure on my lady parts! Genitals don’t operate on spoken commands. If they did, I would’t need a partner anyway. Some people take a long time to peak, and sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. If you’re trying to pleasure me, I don’t want to be consumed by the guilt that I can’t demonstrate the physical effects of that pleasure.
Secondly, neither my vagina or I follow orders. There are many facets of sexual experience that don’t involve a full blown orgasm, and I shouldn’t have to perform in order for you to feel accomplished.
Dirty talk can be great, but something said in the moment can still be taken at face value. Unless someone specifically enjoys the hyper-assertive, “I’m going to do this to you” approach, I would steer clear of prescriptive statements.
Drop the pressure, and let the good times roll (in the sheets).
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