Like the majority of human beings, I have a horrible tendency of envisioning unrealistic scenarios of what would happen if I ever met a famous celebrity: I’d run into them in one of those public, but less crowded places (like an independent coffee shop or something). I’d see him or her being completely ignored by the unaware beings in the space. I’d walk up to them, looking like the encapsulation of poise and confidence, with a smile on my face and my hair and makeup looking slightly better than average. I’d tell him or her how much I love their work. They’d say thank you, and call me sweet or compliment my outfit. I’d ask for a picture. They’d say something like, “Of course! Come over here!” as they’d gesture for me to come closer and wrap their arm around my shoulder. I’d make a witty comment about something, they’d laugh, tell me I’m clever, and soon enough we’d be exchanging phone numbers and making lunch plans as we slowly become BFF’s.
Celebrity encounters are like snow days: you know the chances are slim, but you’re always (even when it’s literally impossible) more than prepared to open that email with the subject line of “CLASS IS CANCELLED.” You know exactly what you’ll spend the day doing – what movies you’ll watch, what shows you’ll binge, what snacks you’ll devour, and what footsie pajamas you’ll wear.
Well, the same goes for celebrity encounters. You have them planned exactly to the last detail, despite their low probability and likelihood. Some may argue this is unnecessary, a waste of time, and wishful thinking. But like that glorified day of cancelled class, there is still that tiny sliver of possibility.
Thus, here are the most important things to remember when planning your future encounter with a famous person:
- If you’re a genuine fan of said celebrity, great! Be honest and sincere and tell them how much you enjoy their work!
- If you literally have no idea who said celebrity is and you’re just trying to get likes on your next Instagram, just say something generic and make sure you Google who they are before you post.
- Feel free to imagine your photo turning out cute with said celebrity’s arm around you and their head tilted towards yours, but also convince yourself that you’ll be content with an awkward gap in between you two.
- Regarding pictures, selfie quality almost always turn out worse than just having someone else take a photo. However, if you’re alone, suck it up.
- If said celebrity refuses to take a photo because they’re rude not in the mood, make sure you get some sort of evidence or else no one will believe you.
- Don’t tell your parents that you saw someone famous unless you got a picture with them. If you don’t get a picture, they’ll be disappointed.
- Acknowledge that you’re going to look worse than them in the picture. After all, he or she is a celebrity. You’re a college student. Accept the facts and move on.
Images via, via, via, via, via, via, Abby Espiritu, and via.
