High School Musical: A Reunion Review

LOOK AT US LAUGHING AND SMILING! WERE HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME! WASN’T HIGH SCHOOL JUST THE ABSOLUTE FRICKIN’ BEST? WHY DOES VANESSA HUDGENS LOOK LIKE A PIRATE CRUELLA DE VIL?

As soon as a reminder of the 10th Anniversary of High School Musical popped up on my Facebook feed, I knew what I’d be doing on January 20th.  After all, Zac Efron prompted the ultimate sexual awakening. Seriously, you have no idea how much nine-year-old current me wants to be the Gabriella to his Troy. Joined by my mother and little sister, all of us equally excited for this reunion (albeit without Zefron), I popped some popcorn and prepared myself for a night of nostalgia. What follows is some personal commentary from watching the film that made me expect too much from teenagedom.

The first thing I notice is a newfound appreciation for Coach Bolton. He’s not bad, even when compared with a fifteen-year-old-Zefron. Not bad at all.

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Vanessa Hudgens looks like she walked out of a Justice commercial. Remember Justice? The overpriced and bedazzled cousin of Limited Too? Remember wanting to own everything in that store? Like that Faux Fur Trim Hoodie with Sparkle Stars that I never got for my birthday (@Mom)? And damn, her lip gloss game is on point. I could only wish for that kind of shine.

About ten minutes in I realize I know way too many lyrics and lines from this movie. I also realize my mother knows way too many as well. “Everyone loves a good jazz square.” Truer words were never spoken.

Okay, Coach Bolton is seriously attracting my attention now. Just saying. If we could get him a little more screen time that would be key. Or a spin-off movie. Or just him shirtless instead of Zefron. Sure, Coach Bolton isn’t the most supportive dad, but I bet he’s really ripped. Just a thought.

My father comes downstairs as the final number (We’re All in This Together) comes on. Next thing I know he’s performing pretty accurate choreography to this scene. I can’t tell if I’m more impressed or embarrassed.

I’m feeling a major absence of Coach Bolton that, because I’ve been home for four weeks, I need to fix ASAP. Good thing my family owns High School Musical 2 and 3. Wish me luck as I venture even farther down this pit of nostalgia in search of more footage of my new favorite star of this franchise.

DISCLAIMER: Watching the entire HSM saga might lead to feelings that your high school experience was inadequate, sexual longing for Coach Bolton, or an inability to stop quoting the aforementioned films.

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