Hey Brown Lecture Board Here are my Suggestions for the Lecture This Year. I Know This is a Satire Magazine but I’m Actually Being Semi-Serious so, Like, Maybe Just Consider Them?

  1. Rupaul. Please. From slaying-the-house-down with sickening outfits to steadfastly supporting fracking, is there anything our queen can’t do? (I would also be willing to accept another Drag Race alum like Trixie Mattel or Alyssa Edwards—or even a second-rate queen like Kitara Ravache.)
  2. Young Sheldon. 
  3. Nathan Fielder and/or Larry David. I love Jewish men.
  4. Three-time Oscar winner Cate Blanchett (yes, I’m giving her an extra Oscar because she should have won for Tár). Also, I want her to step on me. 
  5. Joe Biden, again. This one is extra pertinent considering the upcoming election. #Biden2024!
  6. Lea Michelle. Give her a book and see what she comes up with!
  7. George Santos. Also see 1. under Kitara Ravache. 
  8. Jimmy Carter. Oldest president ever? Long-standing advocate for Palestine?? Peanut farmer??? CPax could never.
  9. Azealia Banks. Also, Brown Lecture Board, feel free to throw in your nerdiest, most pathetic interviewer with her. I want to see what Azealia does. 
  10. The entire Rib of Brown. We are funny and full of insight. 

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