Last week I met someone for what felt like the seven-thousandth time. In reality, it was only the fourth or fifth time, which is still enough times that he should remember me by now. And he’s not the only person with whom this has happened. I actually get forgotten quite frequently, and endure lots of vague “I don’t know you” smiles and re-introductions.
I know that I forget names a lot, especially those of distant acquaintances or of people I met while distracted by something else (i.e. food). So I’m okay with having to remind you of my name, since you’ll probably have to do the same for me. I have a harder time understanding when people forget the faces of people (including me) that they have been introduced to before.
It’s especially puzzling because I feel like I remember basically everyone’s face, even people I know for bizarre reasons. I’m sure we all have people like that, whose faces we associate with a memory, even if we don’t have a name for them. Like the kid who sat next to me in calculus that one time and asked to borrow a pen, or the girl who studied in Leung last Thursday and ate two corn muffins. They have become faces so familiar to me that I see them everywhere.
But it turns out many people are not equally good at remembering my face. If you’re one of these people, I’m willing to cut you some slack the first time. Maybe we’re encountering each other out of context, and you just can’t quite remember if/how you know me. After that, however, I have to put you in the “Forgetter” category. Remember the part in Princess Diaries where Mia gets sat on? That’s sort of how I feel when I have to tell my friends that someone forgot me again. However, knowing a Forgetter is actually not all bad. These people can open up a world of possibilities, because you don’t have to worry about what they think of you.
For example, you can tell them you have some insane internship lined up for this summer. Or that your dad was the stunt double in one of the Superman movies. A little white lie that will blow their mind and give you mad street-cred in the moment, but that would be exhausting to maintain for more than one day. With a Forgetter, you don’t have to worry about remembering the lie, since they won’t either!
If you’re feeling bold, you can try to hold their hand. This will probably be incredibly awkward for both of you, but since they won’t remember you, what do you have to lose? And on the off-chance that holding their hand reveals that you two are soulmates, I’ll wager that they will a) no longer find it awkward and b) not forget you this time.
I would also highly recommend that you tell them about your (made-up) identical twin and that you pretend to be this twin the next time you see them. Since they will have completely forgotten about you and your “twin” already, this will be purely for your own entertainment, which is a 100% valid reason to do something like this.
Are you too memorable to experience any of these fun interactions? Do you want to learn how to slide under the radar literally everywhere you go? I’ll be honest that I have not yet determined exactly what makes a person forgettable, but I do have some strategies that might be worth a shot if you’re hoping to have successful encounter with a Forgetter:
If you meet a new person at a meal, eat only bland food in front of them. Think oatmeal and white bread, washed down with a glass of water. You are what you eat, after all! Also try to avoid anything crunchy – if you make any noise, they will definitely look at you and might form a memory of you. Which would probably interfere with the process of making them a Forgetter.
Don’t laugh at anything they say. Seriously. If you make them think that they are funny, it will make them feel warm and fuzzy inside, and they may remember you as the person who laughs at their jokes. This is called a “positive first impression” and should be avoided at all costs when trying to be forgettable.
If these previous tips don’t work and you are worried that they are beginning to remember you, don’t be afraid to pull out your secret weapon: hypnotism! Just put them in a trance and convince them that you don’t—and never did—exist. While you are at it, also convince them that their favorite song is “I’ve Just Seen a Face” and be sure to hum it around them the next time you meet.
With a little practice (and the right Forgetter) you’ll be forgotten left and right in no time at all. Welcome to the club—I promise we’ll remember your face here!
