Halloween Costumes for Candidates

Americans are eagerly anticipating the big, spooky day that comes once a year and strikes fear into the hearts of all citizens. And they’re excited for Halloween, too!

Yes, Election Day is terrifying, but we mustn’t forget about everyone’s favorite candy-oriented holiday. Heck, the candidates haven’t! Despite their intense campaign schedules, the nominees are committed to dressing up this year. The Rib had the pleasure of interviewing these politicians, and we’ve got the scoop on their crazy costumes!

Republican nominee Donald Trump informed us of his original plan to dress as a cow with Billy Bush; however, following the vulgar video leak, Bush left the Today Show and cancelled his Halloween plans. Trump tried to ask why, but Bush was unreachable after the deletion of his Twitter account.

Mr. Trump will follow through, though, and plans to wear “just the butt end” of the two-person cow suit. He failed to find the humor in our “grab her by the udder” jokes.

Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton has elected to dress down on October 31st, and will be trick-or-treating as actress Ellen Page — specifically, Ellen Page at the Toronto International Film Festival. Clinton made it clear that she’s willing to take a day off from work, but not a day off from pantsuits. She’s also like, a huge fan of the movie Juno?

The vice presidential candidates also have big plans. This All Hallow’s Eve, Clinton’s running mate, Tim Kaine, will go the punny route by dressing as a Candy Kaine. He plans to sport red and white stripes and hopes that he looks “fresh — minty fresh!” In response, voters said, “You went to Harvard?”

Republican nominee Mike Pence told The Rib that he was anti-Halloween for some time due to his belief that monsters and ghosts were stealing jobs from hardworking Americans and should not be encouraged by the holiday. He has since changed his mind and given in to the fun! Pence confided that his first instinct was to dress as something both confusing and insensitive, or “at least as Harambe.” Mr. Pence is shockingly in touch with meme culture. Popular gorillas aside, he has finally decided to “just be a pirate” because he thinks “parrots” and “eyepatches” are “cool.”

We were also able to sit down with former candidate Bernie Sanders. Although he’s no longer in the running for president, he’s certainly a competitor for Best Halloween Costume! Actual savage Sanders intends to dress as Donald Trump this year. In Sander’s words, “Trump’s feelin’ the bern now, ‘cause he just got ROASTED!”

Images via Annie Warner.