As science would have it, all of us- you, me, Denzel Washington- reside on this big rock we call Earth that is floating in space, orbiting a massive fiery gas ball inside an even more massive thing called the Milky Way Galaxy. This in an even bigger thing, and then it gets too large and abstract for our little minds to comprehend. At least we can all wrap our minds around the fact that we live on a linear timeline, right? Haha, WRONG!
I used to be naive. I considered parallel universes only a thing of science fiction, or a meme popular with Internet-goers. That is, until I was ripped away in my sleep from my much-loved universe A and deposited in this cold, foreign entity that is Universe B. Honestly, after reading this article, you yourself might realize you’ve been transported to an alternate universe. If so, know I am here for you.
Before I get into the actual recollection of my transportation, I’d just like to ask the universe one thing: Why’d you have to drop me in yet another universe where I’m not in a relationship? Would it have been really so hard to drop me in Universe Q where I’m in a happy, steady relationship with my high school sweetheart?
Anyhow, it all started on a dark December night. Actually, it was a very early January morning because it was New Year’s Day. So on that dark, very early January morning, I fell asleep in my parents’ bed with my glasses on the bedside table. I woke up later that morning and reached over to grab my glasses and immediately felt something was wrong. These were NOT MY GLASSES! Their shape felt foreign in my hand and upon inspection, I realized that they had the Calvin Klein logo on the side. I did not remember buying Calvin Klein glasses.
This, of course, is irrefutable proof that parallel universes EXIST. They’re real, and they are out there.
*cue X-Files theme song*
My family members and friends were far less convinced, saying things like “you probably never noticed they were Calvin Klein,” or “shut up, Nicole.” Clearly my Universe A friends and family were far more supportive than my Universe B ones.
Every so often, I catch myself thinking that perhaps I just misremembered what brand of glasses I had bought. I sometimes wonder if I should come to terms with the fact that humans are dumb and my memory vault is a fickle thing. Maybe I should just attribute this situation to the Mandela effect? Is this another Berenstein/Berenstain bears situation?
But then I come to my senses. Nice try, buddy: I know that’s just what the Matrix WANTS me to think.
Image via.
