As I’ve learned from the oft-uttered phrase “YOLO,” I need to spend my life pondering the quintessential philosophical debates essential to humanity. One of these important life questions surrounds the pronunciation of “GIF.” The profound effect this acronym has had on my life cannot be underestimated. Fundamentally, if you pronounce this word with a hard g, we can’t be friends. If a person can’t use a soft g, who knows what they might do next? They are unpredictable (not in the fun spontaneous “Let’s go to Burning Man!” way) and I can’t handle that level of inconsistency in my life. I bet they are the kind of people who can never admit they’re wrong. There’s only room for one of those people in a friendship and that person is me. So unfortunately the stars will never align, and we can’t be friends. I won’t mourn your heathen soul for too long.
Some people may pretend this isn’t a real issue. These people have clearly have no respect for the English language. They might as well say yolo as yooloo. They might as well pronounce Chipotle like Kipotel. You’re not worth my time if you fit into this blasphemous category of humanity. I’ll start saying google like googlay just to mess with you–you people have no right to listen to real words anymore.
Also, there are legitimate reasons why gif is pronounced with a soft g. The creator believes that it should be that way. Words that have an i following a g typically use a soft g (according to the all-knowing source wikipedia). If you are confused, just think about a happy GIF of GIraffes eating leaves and you’ll pretty much get the point.
Last, my entire family agrees with me. My family never agrees on anything (don’t get me started on the presidential election) and at this point I’ll take what I can get.
