Apple has really improved their customer service. While before they would just send you cold, impersonal emails, now, they take the time out of their day to call you (!) from their headquarters in Dearborn, MI. You can look forward to being greeted by a lovely gentleman who informs you of a problem you didn’t know you had. Something about an unsuccessful sign-in attempt made from Indiana? “Well, I’m actually from India”, you might say. In a nice moment of bonding (and diversity and equity and inclusion), he’ll drop his Apple alias and tell you that his name is not actually Alan Parker, it’s Ravi Singh.
You can instantly relate to his immigrant story. You have war flashbacks of spelling your name out at Starbucks, before eventually changing it altogether. Something about Ravi makes you miss home, particularly when he asks you where you got your device… you remember your parents getting it for you with fondness. Ravi reminds you that you should call them. Now, preferably.
You don’t have to worry about oversharing with him like you have to with everyone else . No information is off-limits with Ravi. What you’re concentrating in, your current location, your iPhone’s serial number, your Apple ID, your passwords, your bank details. He’s a great listener! He may even say something like, “Wow, you know so much more about technology than other people I talk to.” Nice of him to notice your Ivy League education.
Ravi is modest, which is rare for a man. When you try asking him what he does for Apple, he’ll say “Oh, just this and that. Sometimes I work at Walgreens”. That would explain the recurrent mechanical whirring in his background. You wonder whether you’re close enough to him yet to ask for the vaccine. He says he might be able to if you find your social security number for him.
Even if you say, “Ravi, I simply can’t send it to you right now, I have a midterm!”, he’ll be understanding about your constraints in a way that your professors and classmates just aren’t. Every day is wellness Wednesday, so long as you get back to him with your credit card information before 5 PM.
So, give him a call! It’s +1 (810-982-5151). I promise you’ll come out of it with a new best friend, and immense respect for Apple’s new policy.
(And Ravi, if you’re reading this, please call me back. I need your help with a fraud alert, bestie).
Image via Shutterstock