It’s dinnertime, and my family is casually sitting at the table when my dad interrupts the conversation for a breaking announcement.
“I have a million-dollar idea,” he said. (He has one about twice a day.) “Kids, after this one, we’re gonna be rich.”
“What is it, dad?”
“BRAS. Bras with interchangeable straps, and you can buy them in all different colors and mix and match them to go with your outfit!”
Although at the dinner table he was met with only sarcasm, in my later years I would come to wish that more people thought like my dad. A question to the brassiere-bearers among you: how many times has someone pointed out an errant bra strap to you with all the trepidation of reporting a venomous spider crawling up your back? I’d venture quite a few. It’s a taboo subject, the bra, and although no more physically revealing than your average bikini, the sight of it tends to shock the masses solely because of its definition as an undergarment.
Well, I’m sick of it. I say FREE THE BRA! After all, the average Victoria’s Secret bra costs approximately one buttload of money, and it seems for every dollar you spend you win one fantastically obnoxious question from a too-peppy saleslady. You’re telling me you want to put all that effort in for NO ONE to see? I like my bras cute, lacy, fun, and flattering, and I’m sad that someone would see even a sliver of one of my favorite clothing items and treat it like a hanging booger.
Also, just as my dad suspected, bras can be fashionable, by accident or not. Think of all the concert garb you saw this year, from crop tops to bandeaus to short tanks. All of this year’s cutest trends are bra-like. And just having your regular bra show through can be a statement, too. I mean, look at Miley here:
It might not be haute couture or whatever, but I’ll be honest: I would wear that. It’s easy, cute, fun, and comfy, and just imagine how much better 90 degree summers are with one fewer layer of fabric for your sweat to stick to.
And one last thing–if you can slightly see my black bra strap slipping from the side of my black dress’s black short sleeve, what comment are you making when you tell me to pull it back up? I know I don’t look sloppy or out of style. The message you’re giving — even if you don’t realize — is, “this article of clothing is shameful and should be hidden.”
Listen up, people, and let me take you on safari. The bra is a beautiful, majestic animal, and sometimes it likes to roam free. Let it. I’m not saying you have to go topless — although if you did I wouldn’t blame you — but the bra can stand some quality time to stretch its straps out in the sun. They need vitamin C too, you know.
Whether you wear them or not, everyone could use a reminder that like any of our domesticated beasts, the bra’s most important relationship is with its owner. Respect that. And if you are the happy parent of a brassiere, don’t be afraid to loosen its leash every once in a while! You both might end up having some fun.
