In typical New England fashion, the last day of spring break greeted me with rain like British tears after the revolution, and skies as grey as Benjamin Franklin’s eyes[1].
In atypical Brown University fashion, the last day of spring break greeted me with a flat rat on the crosswalk in front of my dorm. As I live in front of our favorite dining hall on campus, adorably nicknamed the Ratty, one could ask—aren’t you used to seeing rats on campus by now?
Contrary to this belief, I had only seen fluffy brown mice on several eateries around campus, and I don’t mind sharing food with these cute critters. Mice have a family to feed. But everything changed when I almost stepped on a flat rat squished like a gnat.
Turns out, flat rats are significantly different from mice in that they are at least four times as large, and therefore seem to contain intestines twice as long, and therefore thrice more exposed. In addition to this horrifying observation, they are squished onto the concrete by multiple uncaring Providence drivers who would notice a flat rat less than a prototypical Providence pothole.
In this surreal situation, I did what every average college student would do—stared at the rat until the image was forever seared in my mind. Then I moved my foot and stepped out of the way, leaving the rat’s intestines to continue spilling out onto the road, staining the sidewalk scarlet.
Which gives me food for thought. Was this situation presented to me by the designers of the simulation that we live in for me to analyze the transient nature of our mortality in the grand rat race of society; the pavement, our careers; the rat, us; the Providence drivers, the ever-churning development of human technology and knowledge that is forced upon our minds?
I choose to believe so. Can you believe my professor would dare to assign a midterm the Wednesday after spring break?
[1] Note that I had to google this information and look at a blog post titled: “Founding Fathers You Would Call Daddy” (https://www.theodysseyonline.com/hottest-founding-father) and this is not what I needed. (Or is it what I needed?)
i was there and this is all true.