Do you think Java is a fancy word for coffee and that Python is a random term for a snake? Are you more likely to be found crying about your final paper than a coding project? Tired of feeling left out when your friends send snaps from the CIT?
Then you’re in the right place. This guide is made for you. This semester, I am taking my first computer science class at Brown and I’ve learned a lot. The main thing I’ve learned is that the department list serv sends too many emails, but that’s just a footnote of the CS grind. For all you lost humanities students, who are following their dreams or something weird like that, I’m going to give you a practical guide on how to pretend that you’re a CS concentrator, even if you don’t understand how to turn a computer on.
- Talk about the CIT a lot.
Make sure you spend a sunny afternoon on the roof of the CIT and document it on your snap story. Complain about the hours of the Sunlab. Explain the convoluted TA hours systems to all your humanities friends. For extra credit, like the Hotel CIT page on Facebook.
2. Actively engage with CS memes.
Read Andy van Dam’s wikipedia and try to comprehend about 30%. Mainly, remember what his face looks like. Now you’ll be sure to upvote any meme with him in it, which will certainly make you seem like a CS insider. Feel free to tag random friends in the memes too. You’ll will seem popular, in-the-know, and like a true member of the Brown computer science community.
3. Learn the buzzwords.
Replace your usual greeting with “Hello, World!” Pretend you have a strong opinion on the debate between Macs and PCs. Call small tasks throughout your day “hacks.” Everyone knows that the real cool kids always refer to the CIT by its full name, “Thomas J. Watson Sr. Center for Information Technology.” Finally, any time you talk about a significant moment in an academic field that’s not CS, always bring it home to CS with an anecdote. A personal fave is randomly comparing things to the Mother of All Demos–this is extra extra credit because Andy van Dam was there. You know you’re doing well when you find an occasion in your marxist theory class to say, “The formation of the USSR was like the Mother of All Demos of socialism!” Then all your friends will know for sure that you’re a comp sci kid at heart.
4. Watch Silicon Valley (or move there).
After watching the hit HBO show, “Silicon Valley,” you now have the key to making CS jokes like a natural. Stage an argument about tabs vs. spaces in a public area. You could also just complain about housing prices in Silicon Valley and then contribute to the problem by moving there. Either works really.
5. Discuss big tech like a pro.
First and foremost, mention Google, Facebook, and Apple whenever you have the chance. Definitely call Mark Zuckerberg “Zuck,” so everyone knows that you’re kindred spirits. Have your job applications to the top 10 tech companies perpetually bookmarked in your toolbar and whenever somebody asks about your applications simply say, “I’m just seeing if they’re a good fit for me.”
6. Dress the part.
Brand your body with merchandise (swag) from different companies. Throw on your Pinterest beanie and your Snapchat quarter-zip before showing up to any event, especially if another CS kid will be there. Shirts with puns about computer science also work, but usually it’s more fun to just be a walking billboard. Last but not least, never forget the hoodie. All coders wear hoodies.
Now you know all about how to “hack” your way into the CS crowd. Zip up that hoodie and start complaining about your latest CS project!
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